\ 


CLEVER   STORIES 


MANY  NATIONS. 


RENDERED      IN      RHYME      BY 


John  G.  Saxe. 


ILLUSTRATED   BY  W.  L.  CHAMPNEY. 


BOSTON: 
TICKNOR     AND     FIELDS. 

1865. 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1864,  by 

JOHN      G.      SAXE, 
in  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  of  the  Northern  District  of  New  York. 


UNIVERSITY  PRESS: 

WELCH,    BIGELOW,   AND  COMPANY, 

CAMBRIDGE. 


CONTENTS. 

PAGE 

THE  TREASURE  OF  GOLD      .       .       .               .       .  7 

THE  NOBLEMAN,  THE  FISHERMAN,  AND  THE  PORTER  19 

ALWAYS  IN  LUCK   .        .        .   •    .       .       .        .        .  27 

THE  KING  AND  THE  COTTAGER       .        .       .       .  39 

THE  TARTAR  WHO  CAUGHT  A  TARTAR       .        .  *     .  51 

THE  BLIND  MEN  AND  THE  ELEPHANT  ...  59 

THE  CALIPH  AND  THE  CRIPPLE  .        .       .       .  65 

THE  Pious  BRAHMIN  AND  HIS  NEIGHBORS   .        .  77 

THE  THREE  GIFTS         .               85 

THE  YOUTH  AND  THE  NORTH-WIND      ...  95 

THE  UGLY  AUNT   .               .       .        .       .        .        .  107 

Ho-Ho  OF  THE  GOLDEN  BELT         .        .        .        .  117 

RAMPSINITUS  AND  THE  ROBBER 127 

THE  WANDERING  JEW      ......  141 


933286 


vi  Contents. 

THE  ROMANCE  OF  NICK  VAN  STANN         .  .        .151 

KING  SOLOMON  AND  THE  BEES       .        .  .        .         159 

ICARUS .165 

THE  STORY  OF  ECHO        ...        ..  173 

THE  CHOICE  OF  KING  MIDAS      .       .  .        .     179 

THE  SNAKE  IN  THE  GLASS       .               .  .       .        187 


THE    TREASURE    OF    GOLD. 


A    LEGEND    OF    ITALY. 


THE    TREASURE    OF   GOLD. 


A    LEGEND    OF    ITALY. 


BEAUTIFUL  story,  my  darlings, 
Though  exceedingly  quaint  and  old, 

Is  a  tale  I  have  read  in  Italian, 
Entitled,  The  Treasure  of  Gold. 


io  Clever  Stories 

ii. 

']  5 
•There  lived  near  the  town  of  Bologna 

A  widow  of  virtuous  fame, 
Alone  with  her  only  daughter, — 
Madonna  LUCREZIA  by  name. 

in. 

A  lady  whom  changing  fortune 
Had  numbered  among  the  poor  ; 

And  she  kept  an  inn  by  the  wayside, 
For  the  use  of  peasant  and  boor. 

IV. 

One  day  at  the  door  of  the  tavern 
Three  roving  banditti  appeared, 

And  one  was  a  wily  Venetian, 
To  guess  by  his  curious  beard. 

v. 

And  he  spoke  to  the  waiting  hostess 
In  phrases  exceedingly  fine, 

And  sat  himself  down  with  his  fellows, 
And  called  for  a  flagon  of  wine. 


The  Treasure  of  Gold  1 1 

VI. 

At  length,  after  deeply  discoursing 

In  voices  suspiciously  low, 
The  travellers  rose  from  the  table, 

And  made  preparation  to  go. 

VII. 

"  Madonna,"  up  spoke  the  Venetian, 
"  Pray  do  us  the  kindness  to  hold 

Awhile,  for  our  better  convenience, 
This  snug  little  treasure  of  gold." 

VIII. 

"  Indeed,"  said  the  smiling  Lucrezia, 

"  You  're  welcome  to  leave  it,  —  but  stay  ; 

I  have  never  a  lock  in  my  hovel, 
And  the  bag  may  be  stolen  away. 

IX. 

"  Besides,"  said  the  woman,  "  consider 
There  's  no  one  the  fact  to  attest ; 

In  pledge  for  so  precious  a  treasure 
You  have  only  my  word,  at  the  best." 


12  Clever  Stories 

x. 

"  In  faith  !  "  said  the  civil  Venetian, 
"  We  have  n't  a  morsel  of  fear  ; 

But  to  guard  against  awkward  mischances, 
Let  the  matter  in  writing  appear." 

XI. 

And  this  was  a  part  of  the  writing 
She  gave  the  banditti  to  hold :  — 

"  Not  to  one,  nor  to  two,  but  to  all, 
Will  I  render  the  treasure  of  gold," 

XII. 

Now  the  robbers  were  scarcely  departed, 
When  the  cunning  Venetian  came  back, 

With,  "  Madam,  allow  me  the  favor 
Of  putting  my  seal  to  the  sack." 

XIII. 

But  the  moment  she  gave  him  the  treasure, 
A  horseman  rode  up,  —  and  behold  ! 

While  the  woman  went  out  to  attend  him, 
The  villain  ran  off  with  the  gold. 


The  Treasure  of  Gold  13 

XIV. 

"  Alas  !  "  cried  the  widow,  in  anguish, 

"  Alas  for  my  daughter  forlorn  ! 
I  would  we  had  perished  together, 

The  day  GIANNETTA  was  born  !  " 

xv. 

In  sooth,  she  had  reason  for  sorrow, 

Although  it  were  idle  to  weep  ; 
She  was  sued  in  the  court  of  Bologna, 

For  the  money  she  promised  to  keep. 

XVI. 

"  Now  go,  GIANNETTA,"  she  faltered, 
"  To  one  that  is  versed  in  the  laws  ; 

But  stop  at  the  shrine  of  the  Virgin, 
And  beg  her  to  favor  our  cause." 

XVII. 

Alas  for  Madonna  LUCREZIA  ! 

In  vain  GIANNETTA  applied 
To  each  lawyer  of  note  in  the  city  ; 

They  were  all  on  the  opposite  side. 


14  Clever  Stories 


XVIII. 

At  last,  as  the  sorrowing  maiden 
Sat  pondering  her  misery  over, 

And  breathing  a  prayer  to  the  Virgin, 
She  thought  of  Lorenzo,  her  lover  ; 

XIX. 

A  student  well  read  in  the  statutes, 
According  to  common  report, 

But  one  who,  from  modest  aversion, 
Had  never  appeared  in  the  court. 

xx. 

"  I  '11  try  !  "  said  the  faithful  LORENZO, 
After  hearing  her  narrative  through 

"  And  for  strength  in  the  hour  of  trial, 
I  '11  think,  GIANNETTA,  of  you  ! " 

XXI. 

Next  morning  the  judges  assembled  ; 

The  claimants'  attorneys  were  heard, 
And  gave  a  most  plausible  version 

Of  how  the  transaction  occurred  ; 


The  Treasure  of  Gold  15 

XXII. 

Then  showed,  by  the  widow's  confession, 
She  had  taken  the  money  to  hold, 

And  proved  that,  though  often  requested, 
She  failed  to  surrender  the  gold. 

XXIII. 

The  judges  seemed  fairly  impatient 

To  utter  the  fatal  decree, 
When  lo  !  the  young  student  Lorenzo 

Stands  up,  and  commences  a  plea  :  — 

XXIV. 

"  Your  Honors  :  —  I  speak  for  the  widow  ; 

Some  words  have  been  (carelessly)  said 
Concerning  a  written  agreement,  — 

I  ask  that  the  writing  be  read." 

XXV.  I 

"  Of  course,"  said  the  Court,  "  it  is  proper 

The  writing  appear  in  the  case  ; 
The  sense  of  a  written  agreement 

May  give  it  a  different  face." 


1 6  Clever  Stories 

XXVI. 

"  Observe,"  said  the  student,  "  the  bargain,  — 
To  which  we  are  willing  to  hold,  — 

*  Not  to  one,  nor  to  two,  but  to  all, 
Will  I  render  the  treasure  of  gold.' 

XXVII. 

"  We  stand  by  the  writing,  your  Honors, 
And  candidly  ask  of  you  whether 

These  fellows  can  sue  for  their  money 
Till  they  come  and  demand  it  together  ? " 

XXVIII. 

And  so  it  was  presently  settled, 
For  so  did  the  judges  decide  ; 

And  great  was  the  joy  of  the  widow, 
And  great  was  her  daughter's  pride. 

XXIX. 

And  fast  grew  the  fame  of  LORENZO, 

For  making  so  clever  a  plea, 
Till  never  in  all  Bologna 

Was  lawyer  so  wealthy  as  he ! 


The  Treasure  of  Gold 

XXX. 

And  he  married  his  own  GIANNETTA, 
As  the  story  is  pleasingly  told,  - 

And  such  were  the  bane  and  the  blessing 
That  came  of  the  Treasure  of  Gold  ! 


THE      NOBLEMAN,     THE      FISHER 
MAN,    AND    THE    PORTER. 


311^ 


THE  NOBLEMAN,  THE  FISHERMAN,  AND 
THE  PORTER. 

A    LEGEND    OF    ITALY. 
I. 

T  was  a  famous  nobleman 

Who  flourished  in  the  East, 
And  once  upon  a  holiday 
He  made  a  goodly  feast, 
And  summoned  in  of  kith  and  kin 
A  hundred  at  the  least. 


22  Clever  Stories 

ii. 

Now  while  they  sat  in  social  chat 
Discoursing  frank  and  free, 

In  came  the  steward,  with  a  bow : 
"  A  man  below,"  said  he, 

"  Has  got,  my  lord,  the  finest  fish 
That  ever  swam  the  sea  !  " 

in. 

"  Indeed  !  "  exclaimed  the  nobleman, 
"  Then  buy  it  in  a  trice  ; 

The  finest  fish  that  ever  swam 
Must  needs  be  very  nice  ; 

Go,  buy  it  of  the  fisherman, 
And  never  mind  the  price." 

IV. 

"  And  so  I  would,"  the  steward  said, 
"  But,  faith,  he  would  n't  hear 

A  word  of  money  for  his  fish, 
(Was  ever  man  so  queer  ?) 

But  said  he  thought  a  hundred  stripes 
Could  not  be  counted  dear." 


Tke  Nobleman,  Fisherman,  and  Porter  23 

v. 

"  Go  bring  him  here,"  my  lord  replied  ; 

"  The  man  I  fain  would  see  ; 
A  merry  wag,  by  your  report, 

This  fisherman  must  be  ! " 
44  Go  bring  him  here  !     Go  bring  him  'here  !  " 

Cried  all  the  company. 

VI. 

The  steward  did  as  he  was  bid, 

When  thus  my  lord  began  : 
"  For  this  fine  fish  what  may  you  wish  ? 

I  '11  buy  it,  if  I  can." 
44  One  hundred  lashes  on  my  back  !" 

Exclaimed  the  fisherman, 

VII. 

"  Now,  by  the  rood  !  but  this  is  good," 

The  laughing  lord  replied  ; 
"  Well,  let  the  fellow  have  his  way  ; 

Go,  call  a  groom  !  "  he  cried  ; 
44  But  let  the  payment  he  demands 

Be  modestly  applied." 


24  Clever  Stories 

VIII. 

He  bared  his  back  and  took  the  lash 

As  it  were  merry  play  ; 
But  at  the  fiftieth  stroke,  he  said, 

"  Good  master  groom,  I  pray 
Desist  a  moment,  if  you  please  ; 

I  have  a  word  to  say. 

IX. 

I  have  a  partner  in  the  case,  — 
The  fellow  standing  there  ; 

Pray  take  the  jacket  off  his  back, 
And  let  him  have  his  share  ; 

That  one  of  us  should  take  the  whole 
Were  surely  hardly  fair  !  " 

x. 

"  A  partner  ?  "  cried  the  nobleman, 
"  Who  can  the  fellow  mean  ?  " 

"  I  mean,"  replied  the  fisherman, 
With  countenance  serene, 

"  Your  porter  there  !  —  the  biggest  knave 
That  ever  yet  was  seen  ! 


The  Nobleman,  Fisherman,  and  Porter  25 

XI. 

"  The  rogue  who  stopped  me  at  the  gate, 

And  would  n't  let  me  in 
Until  I  swore  to  give  him  half 

Of  all  my  fish  should  win. 
/  'vc  got  my  share  !     Pray  let,  my  lord, 

His  payment  now  begin  !  " 

XII. 

"  What  you  propose,"  my  lord  replied, 

"  Is  nothing  more  than  fair  ; 
Here,  groom,  —  lay  on  a  hundred  stripes, 

And  mind  you  do  not  spare  ; 
The  scurvy  dog  shall  never  say 

He  did  n't  get  his  share  !  " 

XIII. 

Then  all  that  goodly  company, 

They  laughed  with  might  and  main, 

The  while  beneath  the  stinging  lash 
The  porter  writhed  in  pain. 

"  So  fare  all  villains,"  quoth  my  lord, 
"  Who  seek  dishonest  gain  !  " 


26  Clever  Stories 

XIV. 

Then  turning  to  the  fisherman, 
Who  still  was  standing  near, 

He  filled  his  hand  with  golden  coins, 
Some  twenty  sequins  clear, 

And  bade  him  come  and  take  the  like 
On  each  succeeding  year. 


ALWAYS    IN    LUCK; 


OR, 


THE    SEER    IN    SPITE    OF    HIMSELF. 


AN    ARABIAN    TALE. 


-fj 


ALWAYS    IN   LUCK. 


AN  ARABIAN  TALE. 


N  Cairo  once  there  dwelt  a  worthy  man, 

Toilsome  and  frugal,  but  extremely  poor ; 
"  Howe'er,"  he  grumbled,  "  I  may  toil  and  plan, 
The  wolf  is  ever  howling  at  my  door, 
While  arrant  rascals  thrive  and  prosper :  hence 
I  much  misdoubt  the  ways  of  Providence. 


3  Clever  Stories 

ii. 

"  Allah  is  Allah  ;  and,  we  all  agree, 
Mohammed  is  his  Prophet.     Be  it  so  ; 

But  what 's  Mohammed  ever  done  for  me, 
To  boil  my  kettle  I  should  like  to  know  ? 

The  thieves  fare  better,  —  and  I  much  incline 

From  this  day  forth  to  make  their  calling  mine." 

III. 

"  Dog  of  an  Arab  ! "  cried  his  pious  spouse, 
"  So  you  would  steal  to  better  your  estate, 

And  hasten  Allah's  vengeance  !     Shame  !  arouse  ! 
Why  sit  you  there  repining  at  your  fate  ? 

Pray  to  the  Prophet,  sinner  that  you  are, 

Then  wash  your  face  and  go  to  the  Bazaar. 

IV. 

"  Take  with  you  pen  and  paper  and  a  book, 
And,  sitting  in  a  corner,  gravely  make 

Some  mystic  scrawls,  —  put  on  a  solemn  look, 
As  if  you  were  a  wise  and  learned  sheik  ; 

And,  mark  my  word,  the  people  in  a  trice 

Will  come  in  throngs  to  purchase  your  advice." 


Always  in  Luck  31 

v. 
"  'T  is  worth  a  trial,  woman,  I  confess  ; 

Things  can't  be  worse,"  the  moody  Arab  said  ; 
"  But  then,  alas  !  I  have  no  proper  dress, 

Not  e'en  a  turban  to  adorn  my  head." 
"Allah  be  praised  !" — just  here  the  woman  spied 
A  hollow  pumpkin  lying  at  her  side. 

VI. 

"  See,  this  will  do  ! "  and,  cutting  it  in  twain, 
She  placed  the  half  upon  her  husband's  pate  ; 

"  T  is  quaint  and  grave,  and  well  befits  thy  brain. 
Most  reverend  master,"  cried  the  dame,  elate  ; 

4<  Now  to  thy  labor  hasten  thee  away, 

And  thou  shalt  prosper  from  this  very  day  ! " 

VII. 

And  so,  obedient  to  his  wife's  command, 
The  anxious  sheik  procured  a  little  nook 

In  the  Bazaar,  where,  sitting  by  a  stand, 

With  much  grimace  he  pored  upon  his  book, 

Peering  around,  at  intervals,  to  spy 

A  customer,  if  such  a  thing  were  nigh. 


32  Clever  Stories 

VIII. 

And  soon,  indeed,  a  customer  appeared, 
A  peasant  pale  and  sweating  with  distress  ; 

"  Good  Father  Pumpkin  !  may  your  mighty  beard  " 
(Bowing  in  reverence)  "  be  never  less  ! 

I  come  to  crave  your  counsel,  —  for,  alas  ! 

Most  learned  Father,  I  have  lost  my  ass." 

IX. 

"  Now,  curse  the  donkey  ! "  cried  the  puzzled  man 
(Unto  himself),  "  and  curse  Fatima,  too, 

Who  sent  me  here  !  —  for,  do  the  best  I  can, 
And  that 's  the  best  that  any  one  can  do, 

I  'm  sure  to  blunder."     So,  in  sheer  despair, 

He  named  the  graveyard :  "  Seek  your  donkey  there ! 

x. 

It  chanced  the  ass  that  very  moment  grazed 
Within  the  graveyard,  as  the  sheik  had  told ; 

And  so  the  peasant,  joyful  and  amazed, 

Gave  thanks  and  money  ;  nor  could  he  withhold 

His  pious  prayers,  but,  bowing  to  the  ground, 

Cried  :  "  Great  is  Allah  !  for  my  ass  is  found  !  " 


Always  in  Luck  33 

XI. 

"  Allah  is  Allah  !  "  said  the  grateful  sheik, 
Returning  homeward  with  his  precious  fee  ; 

"  I  much  rejoice  for  dear  Fatima's  sake  ; 

Few  men,  in  sooth,  have  such  a  mate  as  she  ; 

Most  wives  are  bosh,  or  worse  than  bosh,  but  mine 

In  wit  and  beauty  is  almost  divine  ! " 

XII. 

Next  day  he  hastened  early  to  his  post, 
But  found  some  clients  had  arrived  before  ; 

One  eager  dame  a  skein  of  silk  had  lost ; 
Another  money  ;  and  a  dozen  more, 

Of  either  sex,  were  waiting  to  recover 

A  fickle  mistress  or  a  truant  lover. 

XIII. 

With  solemn  face  the  sheik  replied  to  each, 

Whate'er  his  whim  might  move  his  tongue  to  say  ; 

And  all  turned  out  according  to  his  speech  ; 
And  so  it  chanced  for  many  a  lucky  day, 

Till  "  Father  Pumpkin  "  grew  a  famous  seer, 

Whose  praise  had  even  reached  the  Sultan's  ear. 


34  Clever  Stories 

XIV. 

"  Allah  is  Allah  ! "  cried  the  happy  sheik, 
"  And  never  more,  Fatima,  will  I  doubt 

Mohammed  is  his  prophet ;  let  us  take 

Our  ease  henceforward  —  "     Here  a  sudden  shout 

Announced  the  Sultan's  janissaries,  sent, 

They  said,  to  seize  him,  but  with  kind  intent. 

xv. 
"  The  Grand  Seraglio  has  been  robbed  by  knaves 

Of  all  the  royal  jewels  ;  and  the  Porte, 
To  get  them  back  again,  your  presence  craves 

In  Stamboul ;  he  will  pay  you  richly  for  't, 
If  you  succeed  ;  if  not,  why  then,  instead 
Of  getting  money  —  you  will  lose  your  head  !  " 

XVI. 

"  My  curse  upon  thee  ! "  cried  the  angry  man 
Unto  Fatima  ;  "  see  what  thou  hast  done  ! 

O  woman,  woman  !     Since  the  world  began, 
All  direst  mischiefs  underneath  the  sun 

Are  woman's  doing  —  "     Here  the  Sultan's  throng 

Of  janissaries  bade  him,  "  Come  along  ! " 


Always  in  Luck  35 

XVII. 

The  Seer's  arival  being  now  proclaimed 
Throughout  the  capital,  the  robbers  quake 

With  very  fear  ;  while,  trembling  and  ashamed, 
In  deeper  terror  sits  the  wretched  sheik, 

Cursing  Fatima  for  a  wicked  wife, 

Whose  rash  ambition  has  betrayed  his  life. 

XVIII. 

"  But  seven  short  days  my  sands  have  yet  to  run, 
And  then,  alas  !  I  lose  my  foolish  head  ; 

These  seven  white  beans  I  '11  swallow,  one  by  one, 
To  mark  each  passing  day  ere  I  am  dead. 

Alas  !  alas  !  the  Sultan's  hard  decree  ! 

The  sun  is  setting  :  there  goes  one  /"  said  he. 

XIX. 

Just  then  a  thief  (the  leader  of  the  band 
Who  stole  the  Sultan's  jewels),  passing  by, 

Heard  the  remark,  and  saw  the  lifted  hand, 
And  ran  away  as  fast  as  he  could  fly, 

To  tell  his  comrades  that,  beyond  a  doubt, 

The  cunning  seer  had  fairly  found  them  out. 


36  Clever  Stories 

xx. 

Next  day  another,  ere  the  hour  was  dark, 

Passed  by  the  casement  where  the  sheik  was  seen  ; 

His  hand  was  lifted  warningly,  and  hark ! 

"  There  goes  a  second  I"  (swallowing  the  bean). 

The  robber  fled,  amazed,  and  told  the  crew 

'T  was  time  to  counsel  what  were  best  to  do  ! 

XXI. 

But  still,  —  as  if  the  faintest  doubt  to  cure,  — 
The  following  eve  the  robbers  sent  a  third  ; 

And  so  till  six  had  made  the  matter  sure, 
(For  unto  each  the  same  event  occurred,) 

When,  taking  counsel,  they  at  once  agreed 

To  seek  the  wizard  and  confess  the  deed. 

XXII. 

"  Most  reverend  father  !  "  thus  the  chief  began, 
"Thy  thoughts  are  just ;  thy  spoken  words  are  true  ; 

To  hide  from  thee  surpasses  mortal  man  ; 
Our  evil  works  henceforward  we  eschew, 

For  now  we  know  that  sinning  never  thrives  : 

Here,  take  the  jewels,  but  O  spare  our  lives  ! " 


Always  in  Luck  37 

XXIII. 

44  The  law  enjoins,"  the  joyful  sheik  replied, 

"  That  bloody  Death  shall  end  the  robber's  days ; 

But,  that  your  sudden  virtue  may  be  tried, 

Swear  on  the  Koran  you  will  mend  your  ways, 

And  then  depart."     The  robbers  roundly  swore, 

In  Allah's  name,  that  they  would  rob  no  more. 

XXIV. 

"  Allah  is  Allah  !  "  cried  the  grateful  sheik, 
Holding  the  jewels  in  the  vizier's  face. 

The  vizier  answered,  "  Sir,  be  pleased  to  take 
The  casket  to  the  Sultan."     "  No,  your  Grace," 

The  sheik  replied  :  "  the  gems  are  here,  you  see  ; 

Pray,  tell  the  Sultan  he  may  come  to  me ! " 

XXV. 

The  Sultan  came,  and,  ravished  to  behold 
The  precious  jewels  to  his  hand  restored, 

He  made  the  finder  rich  in  thanks  and  gold, 
And  on  the  instant  pledged  his  royal  word, 

And  straight  confirmed  it  in  the  Prophet's  name, 

To  grant  whatever  he  might  choose  to  claim ! 


38  Clever  Stories 

XXVI. 

"  Sire  of  the  Faithful !  publish  a  decree," 

The  sheik  made  answer,  "  and  proclaim  to  all, 

That  none  henceforth  shall  ever  question  me 
Of  any  matter  either  great  or  small ; 

I  ask  no  more.     So  shall  my  labors  cease  ; 

My  waning  life  I  fain  would  spend  in  peace." 

XXVII. 

The  Sultan  answered  :  "  Be  it  even  so  ; 

And  may  your  beard  increase  a  thousand  fold  ; 
And  may  your  house  with  children  overflow  !  " 

And  so  the  sheik,  o'erwhelmed  with  praise  and  gold, 
Returned  unto  the  city  whence  he  came, 
Blessing  Mohammed's  and  Fatima's  name  ! 


THE    KING   AND   THE    COTTAGER. 


A    PERSIAN    TALE. 


THE  KING  AND    THE   COTTAGER. 

A  PERSIAN  TALE. 
I. 

RAY  list  unto  a  legend 

The  ancient  poets  tell ; 
'T  is  of  a  mighty  monarch 
In  Persia  once  did  dwell ; 
A  mighty  queer  old  monarch, 
Who  ruled  his  kingdom  well. 


42  Clever  Stories 

ii. 

"  I  must  build  another  palace," 
Observed  this  mighty  king  ; 

"  For  this  is  getting  shabby 
Along  the  southern  wing  ; 

And,  really,  for  a  monarch, 
It  is  n't  quite  the  thing  ! 

in. 

"  So  I  will  have  a  new  one, 

Although  I  greatly  fear 
To  build  it  just  to  suit  me 

Will  cost  me  rather  dear  ; 
And  I  '11  choose,  God  wot,  another  spot 

Much  finer  than  this  here  !  " 

IV. 

So  he  travelled  o'er  his  kingdom 

A  proper  site  to  find, 
Where  he  might  build  a  palace 

Exactly  to  his  mind, 
All  with  a  pleasant  prospect 

Before  it  and  behind. 


The  King  and  the  Cottager  43 

v. 

Not  far  with  this  endeavor 

The  king  had  travelled  round, 
Ere,  to  his  royal  pleasure, 

A  charming  spot  he  found  ; 
But  an  ancient  widow's  hovel 

Was  standing  on  the  ground. 

VI. 

"Ah  !  here,"  exclaimed  the  monarch, 

"Is  just  the  proper  spot, 
If  this  woman  would  allow  me 

To  remove  her  little  cot "  ; 
But  the  beldam  answered  plainly, 

She  'd  rather  he  would  not ! 

VII. 

"  Within  this  lowly  cottage, 

Great  monarch,  I  was  born  ; 
And  only  from  this  cottage  * 

By  Death  will  I  be  torn  ; 
So  spare  it,  in  your  justice, 

Or  spoil  it,  in  your  scorn  !  " 


44  Clever  Stories 

VIII. 

Then  all  the  courtiers  mocked  her 
With  cruel  words  and  jeers  : 

"  'T  is  plain  her  royal  master 
She  neither  loves  nor  fears  ; 

We  would  knock  her  ugly  hovel 
About  her  ugly  ears  ! 

IX. 

"  When  ever  was  a  subject 

Who  might  the  king  withstand  ? 

Or  deem  his  spoken  pleasure 
As  less  than  his  command  ? 

Of  course  he  '11  rout  the  beldam, 
And  confiscate  her  land  !  " 

x. 
But,  to  their  deep  amazement, 

His  Majesty  replied : 
"Good  woman,  never  heed  them, 

The  king  is  on  your  side  ; 
Your  cottage  is  your  castle, 

And  here  you  shall  abide  ! 


The  King  and  the  Cottager  45 

XI. 

"  To  raze  it  in  a  moment 

The  power  is  mine,  I  grant ; 
My  absolute  dominion 

A  hundred  poets  chant,  — 
For  being  Khan  of  Persia, 

There  's  nothing  that  I  cant !  " 

XII. 

(T  was  in  this  pleasant  fashion 

The  gracious  monarch  spoke  ; 
For  kings  have  merry  fancies, 

Like  other  mortal  folk  ; 
And  none  so  high  and  mighty 

But  loves  his  little  joke.) 

XIII. 

"  But  power  is  scarcely  worthy 

Of  honor  or  applause, 
That  in  its  domination 

Contemns  the  widow's  cause, 
Or  perpetrates  injustice 

By  trampling  on  the  laws. 


46  Clever  Stories 

XIV. 

"  That  I  have  wronged  the  weakest, 
No  honest  tongue  may  say  ; 

So  bide  you  in  your  cottage, 
Good  woman,  while  you  may  ; 

What 's  yours  by  deed  and  purchase, 
No  man  may  take  away  ! 

xv. 

"  And  I  will  build  beside  it ; 

For  though  your  cot  may  be 
In  such  a  goodly  presence 

No  fitting  thing  to  see, 
If  it  honor  not  my  castle, 

It  will  surely  honor  me  ! 

XVI. 

"  For  so  my  loyal  people 
Who  gaze  upon  the  sight 

Shall  know  that  in  oppression 
I  do  not  take  delight, 

Nor  hold  a  king's  convenience 
Before  a  subject's  right !  " 


The  King  and  the  Cottager  47 

XVII. 

Now  from  his  spoken  purpose 

The  king  departed  not ; 
He  built  the  royal  dwelling 

Upon  the  chosen  spot ; 
And  there  they  stood  together, 

The  palace  and  the  cot ! 

XVIII. 

Sure  such  unseemly  neighbors 

Were  never  seen  before  ; 
"  His  Majesty  is  doting  !  " 

Some  silly  courtiers  swore  ; 
But  all  true  loyal  subjects, 

They  loved  the  king  the  more. 

XIX. 

Long,  long  he  ruled  his  kingdom 

In  honor  and  renown  ; 
But  danger  ever  threatens 

The  head  that  wears  a  crown  ; 
And  Fortune,  tired  of  smiling, 

For  once  put  on  a  frown. 


48  Clever  Stories 

xx. 

For  ever  secret  envy 
Attends  a  high  estate  ; 

And  ever  lurking  malice 

Pursues  the  good  and  great ; 

And  ever  base  ambition 
Will  end  in  deadly  hate. 

XXI. 

And  so  two  wicked  courtiers, 
Who  long  had  strove  in  vain, 

By  craft  and  evil  counsels, 
To  mar  the  monarch's  reign, 

Contrived  a  scheme  infernal 
Whereby  he  should  be  slain. 

XXII. 

But,  as  all  deeds  of  darkness 
Are  wont  to  leave  a  clew 

Before  the  glaring  sunlight 
To  bring  the  knaves  to  view, 

That  sin  may  be  rewarded, 
And  Satan  get  his  due,  — 


The  King  and  the  Cottager  49 

XXIII. 

To  plan  their  wicked  treason 

They  sought  a  lonely  spot 
Behind  the  royal  palace, 

Hard  by  the  widow's  cot, 
Who  heard  their  machinations, 

And  straight  revealed  the  plot ! 

XXIV. 

"  I  see,"  exclaimed  the  Persian, 

"  The  just  are  wise  alone  ; 
Who  spares  the  rights  of  others 

May  chance  to  guard  his  own  ; 
The  widow's  humble  cottage 

Has  propped  a  monarch's  throne  !  " 


THE  TARTAR  WHO  CAUGHT  A 
TARTAR. 

A  HUNGARIAN  LEGEND. 


THE  TARTAR   WHO  CAUGHT  A   TARTAR. 

A    HUNGARIAN    LEGEND. 
I. 

HERE  'S  trouble  in  Hungary,  now,  alas! 
There  's  trouble  on  every  hand  ; 

For  that  terrible  man, 

The  Tartar  Khan, 
Is  ravaging  over  the  land  ! 


54  Clever  Stories 

ii. 

He  is  riding  forth  with  his  ugly  men, 
To  rob  and  ravish  and  slay : 
For  deeds  like  those, 
You  may  well  suppose, 
Are  quite  in  the  Tartar-way. 


in. 

And  now  he  comes,  that  terrible  chief, 
To  a  mansion  grand  and  old : 

And  he  peers  about 

Within  and  without, 
And  what  do  his  eyes  behold  ? 


IV. 


A  thousand  cattle  in  fold  and  field, 
And  sheep  all  over  the  plain, 

And  noble  steeds, 

Of  rarest  breeds, 
And  beautiful  crops  of  grain. 


The  Tartar  who  caught  a   Tartar      55 
v. 

But  finer  still  is  the  hoarded  wealth 
That  his  ravished  eyes  behold, 

In  silver  plate 

Of  wondrous  weight, 
And  jewels  of  pearl  and  gold  ! 


VI. 

A  nobleman  owns  this  fine  estate 
And  when  the  robber  he  sees, 
'T  is  not  very  queer 
He  quakes  with  fear, 
And  trembles  a  bit  in  the  knees ! 


VII. 

He  quakes  in  fear  of  his  precious  life, 
And  scarce  suppressing  a  groan, 

"  Good  Tartar,"  says  he, 

"  Whatever  you  see 
Be  pleased  to  reckon  your  own  ! " 


56  Clever  Stories 

VIII. 

The  Khan  looked  round  in  a  leisurely  way 
As  one  who  is  puzzled  to  choose  ; 

When,  cocking  his  ear, 

He  chanced  to  hear 
The  creak  of  feminine  shoes  ! 


IX. 

The  Tartar  smiled  a  villanous  smile. 
When,  like  a  lily  in  bloom, 

A  lady  fair 

With  golden  hair 
Came  gliding  into  the  room ! 


x. 

The  robber  stared  with  amorous  eyes  ; 
Was  ever  so  winning  a  face  ? 

And  long  he  gazed 

As  one  amazed 
To  see  such  beauty  and  grace  ! 


The  Tartar  who  caught  a   Tartar      57 

XI. 

A  moment  more,  and  the  lawless  man 
Had  seized  his  struggling  prey, 

Without  remorse, 

And  —  taking  horse  — 
He  bore  the  lady  away  ! 


XII. 

"  Now  Heaven  be  praised  ! "  the  nobleman  cried, 
"  For  many  a  mercy  to  me  ! 

I  bow  me  still 

Unto  His  will. 
God  pity  the  Tartar  !  "  said  he. 


JH^ 


THE    BLIND    MEN    AND    THE 
ELEPHANT. 

A     HINDOO     FABLE. 


THE  BLIND  MEN  AND  THE  ELEPHANT. 


A  HINDOO  FABLE. 


T  was  six  men  of  Indostan, 

To  learning  much  inclined, 
Who  went  to  see  the  Elephant, 
(Though  all  of  them  were  blind,) 
That  each  by  observation 
Might  satisfy  his  mind. 


62  Clever  Stories 

n. 
The  First  approached  the  Elephant, 

And  happening  to  fall 
Against  his  broad  and  sturdy  side, 

At  once  began  to  bawl : 
"  God  bless  me  !  —  but  the  Elephant 

Is  very  like  a  wall ! " 

in. 
The  Second,  feeling  of  the  tusk, 

Cried,  "  Ho  !  what  have  we  here 
So  very  round  and  smooth  and  sharp  ? 

To  me  't  is  mighty  clear 
This  wonder  of  an  Elephant 

Is  very  like  a  spear  ! " 

IV. 

The  Third  approached  the  animal, 

And,  happening  to  take 
The  squirming  trunk  within  his  hands, 

Thus  boldly  up  and  spake  :  — 
"  I  see,"  quoth  he,  "  the  Elephant 

Is  very  like  a  snake  ! " 


The  Blind  Men  and  the  Elephant      63 

v. 

The  Fotirth  reached  out  his  eager  hand, 

And  felt  about  the  knee  ; 
"  What  most  this  wondrous  beast  is  like 

Is  mighty  plain,"  quoth  he  ; 
"  'T  is  clear  enough  the  Elephant 

Is  very  like  a  tree  !  " 

VI. 

The  Fifth,  who  chanced  to  touch  the  ear, 

Said,  "  E'en  the  blindest  man 
Can  tell  what  this  resembles  most : 

Deny  the  fact  who  can, 
This  marvel  of  an  Elephant 

Is  very  like  a  fan  !  " 

VII. 

The  Sixth  no  sooner  had  begun 

About  the  beast  to  grope, 
Than,  seizing  on  the  swinging  tail 

That  fell  within  his  scope, 
"  I  see,"  quoth  he,  "  the  Elephant 

Is  very  like  a  rope  !  " 


64  Clever  Stories 

VIII. 

And  so  these  men  of  Indostan 
Disputed  loud  and  long, 

Each  in  his  own  opinion 
Exceeding  stiff  and  strong, 

Though  each  was  partly  in  the  right, 
And  all  were  in  the  wrong ! 

MORAL. 

So,  oft  in  theologic  wars 
The  disputants,  I  ween, 

Rail  on  in  utter  ignorance 
Of  what  each  other  mean, 

And  prate  about  an  Elephant 
Not  one  of  tJiem  has  seen  ! 


THE    CALIPH    AND    THE    CRIPPLE 


AN    ARABIAN    TALE. 


^'f$y^ 


THE  CALIPH  AND  THE  CRIPPLE. 


AN  ARABIAN  TALE. 


(HE  Caliph  BEN  AKAS,  —  whose  surname 

was  "  Wise," 

From  the  wisdom  and  wit  he  displayed,  — 
One  morning  rode  forth  in  a  merchant's  disguise 
To  see  how  his  laws  were  obeyed. 


68  Clever  Stories 

n. 

While  riding  along,  in  a  leisurely  way, 

A  beggar  came  up  to  his  side, 
And  said,  "  In  the  name  of  the  Prophet,  I  pray 

You  '11  give  a  poor  cripple  a  ride." 

in. 

Ben  Akas,  amazed  at  the  mendicant's  prayer, 
Asked  where  he  was  wishing  to  go  ; 

"  I  'm  going,"  he  said,  "  to  the  neighboring  fair  ; 
But  my  crutches  are  wretchedly  slow." 

IV. 

"  Get  up  ! "  said  the  Caliph,  —  "a  saddle  like  this 

Is  hardly  sufficient  for  two  ; 
And  yet,  by  the  Prophet !  't  were  greatly  amiss 

To  snub  a  poor  cripple  like  you  ! " 

v. 
The  beggar  got  up,  and  together  they  rode 

Till  they  came  to  the  neighboring  town, 
When,  hard  by  the  house  where  the  Cadi  abode, 

He  bade  his  companion  get  down. 


The  Caliph  and  the  Cripple  69 

VI. 

"  Nay,  get  down  yourself  7  "  was  the  fellow's  reply, 

Without  the  least  shame  or  remorse  ; 
"  Indeed  ! "  said  the  Caliph,  "  and  pray  tell  me  why  ? " 

Quoth  the  beggar,  "  To  give  me  the  horse  ! 

VII. 

"  You  know  very  well  that  the  nag  is  my  own  ; 

And  if  you  resort  to  the  laws, 
You  do  not  imagine  your  story  alone 

Sufficient  to  carry  the  cause  ? 

VIII. 

"  The  Cadi  is  reckoned  the  wisest  of  men, 

And,  looking  at  you  and  at  me, 
After  hearing  us  both,  't  is  a  hundred  to  ten 

The  cripple  will  get  the  decree." 

IX. 

"  Very  well !  "  said  Ben  Akas,  —  astonished  to  hear 

The  impudent  fellow's  discourse,  — 
"  If  the  Cadi  is  wise,  there  is  little  to  fear 

But  I  soon  shall  recover  my  horse." 


jo  Clever  Stories 

x. 

"  Agreed  !  "  said  the  beggar,  —  "  whate'er  the  decree, 

The  verdict  shall  find  me  content "  ; 
"  As  to  that,"  said  the  other,  "  we  11  presently  see  "  ; 

And  so  to  the  Cadi  they  went. 

XI. 

It  chanced  that  a  cause  was  engrossing  the  Cadi, 
Where  a  woman  occasioned  the  strife  ; 

And  both  parties  claimed  the  identical  lady 
As  being  his  own  lawful  wife. 

XII. 

The  one  was  a  peasant ;  a  scholar  the  other  ; 

And  each  made  a  speech  in  his  turn  ; 
But  —  what  was  a  very  particular  bother  — 

The  woman  refused  to  be  sworn. 

XIII. 

"  Enough  for  the  present !  "  the  Cadi  declared, 
"  Come  back  in  the  morning,"  said  he  ; 

"  And  now  "  (to  Ben  Akas)  "  the  Court  is  prepared 
To  hear  what  your  grievance  may  be  ! " 


The  CalipJi  and  the  Cripple  7  i 

XIV. 

Ben  Akas  no  sooner  the  truth  had  narrated, 

When  the  beggar  as  coolly  replies, 
"  I  swear,  by  the  Prophet  \  the  fellow  has  stated 

A  parcel  of  impudent  lies ! 

xv. 

"  I  was  coming  to  market,  and  when  I  descried 

A  man  by  the  wayside  alone, 
Looking  weary  and  faint,  —  why,  I  gave  him  a  ride  ; 

Now  he  swears  that  the  horse  is  his  own  ! " 

xvi. 

"  Very  well,"  said  the  Judge,  "  let  us  go  to  the  stable 

And  each  shall  select  in  his  turn." 
Ben  Akas  went  first,  and  was  easily  able 

His  favorite  steed  to  discern. 

XVII. 

The  cripple  went  next ;  though  the  stable  was  full, 

The  true  one  was  instantly  shown  ; 
"  Your  Honor,"  said  he,  "  did  you  think  me  so  dull 

That  I  could  n't  distinguish  my  own  ? " 


72  Clever  Stories 

XVIII. 

Next  morning  the  Cadi  came  into  the  court, 

And  sat  himself  down  at  his  ease  ; 
And  thither  the  suitors  and  people  resort 

To  list  to  the  Judge's  decrees. 

XIX. 

First  calling  the  Scholar,  who  sued  for  his  spouse, 
His  Honor  thus  settled  the  doubt :  — 

"  The  woman  is  yours  ;  take  her  home  to  your  house, 
And  don't  let  her  often  go  out." 

xx. 

Then  calling  before  him  Ben  Akas,  —  whose  cause 
Stood  next  in  the  calendar's  course,  — 

He  said :  "  By  the  Prophet's  inflexible  laws, 
Let  the  merchant  recover  his  horse ! 

XXI. 

"  And  as  for  the  beggar,  I  further  decide 

His  villany  fairly  has  earned 
A  good  hundred  lashes  well  laid  on  his  hide  ; 

Meshallah  !     The  court  is  adjourned  ! " 


The  Caliph  and  the  Cripple  73 

XXII. 

Ben  Akas  that  night  sought  the  Cadi's  abode, 
And  said,  "  'T  is  the  CALIPH  you  see  ! 

Though  hither,  indeed,  as  a  merchant  I  rode, 
I  am  ABOU  BEN  AKAS  to  thee  ! " 

XXIII. 

The  Cadi,  abashed,  made  the  lowest  of  bows, 

And,  kissing  his  Majesty's  hand, 
Cried,  "  Great  is  the  honor  you  do  to  my  house  ; 

I  wait  for  your  royal  command  ! " 

XXIV. 

"  I  fain  would  possess,"  was  the  Caliph's  reply, 

"  Your  wisdom  ;  so  tell  me,  I  pray, 
How  your  Honor  discovered  where  justice  might  lie 

In  the  causes  decided  to-day." 

xxv. 
"  Why,  as  to  the  woman,"  the  Cadi  replied, 

"  It  was  easily  settled,  I  think ; 
Just  taking  the  lady  a  moment  aside, 

I  said,  '  Fill  my  standish  with  ink.' 


74  Clever  Stories 

XXVI. 

"  And  quick,  at  the  order,  the  bottle  was  taken, 

With  a  dainty  and  dexterous  hold  ; 
The  standish  was  washed  ;  the  fluid  was  shaken  ; 

New  cotton  put  in  for  the  old  — ' 

XXVII. 

44 1  see  ! "  said  the  Caliph  ;  "  the  story  is  pleasant ; 

Of  course  it  was  easy  to  tell 
The  Scholar  swore  truly,  —  the  spouse  of  a  peasant 

Could  never  have  done  it  so  well. 

XXVIII. 

And  now  for  the  horse  ?  "    "  That  was  harder,  I  own, 

For,  mark  you,  the  beggarly  elf 
(However  the  rascal  may  chance  to  have  known) 

Knew  the  palfrey  as  well  as  yourself ! 

XXIX. 

"  But  the  truth  was  apparent,  the  moment  I  learned 
What  the  animal  thought  of  the  two  ; 

The  impudent  cripple  he  savagely  spurned, 
But  was  plainly  delighted  with  you  !  " 


The  Calipk  and  the  Cripple  75 

xxx. 

Ben  Akas  sat  musing  and  silent  awhile, 

As  one  whom  devotion  employs  ; 
Then,  raising  his  head  with  a  heavenly  smile, 

He  said,  in  a  reverent  voice  :  — 

XXXI. 

"  Sure,  Allah  is  good  and  abundant  in  grace ! 

Thy  wisdom  is  greater  than  mine  ; 
I  would  that  the  Caliph  might  rule  in  his  place 

As  well  as  thou  servest  in  thine ! " 


THE     PIOUS     BRAHMIN     AND     HIS 
NEIGHBORS. 

A     HINDOO     FABLE. 


THE  PIOUS  BRAHMIN  AND  HIS  NEIGH 
BORS. 


A  HINDOO  FABLE. 


PIOUS  Brahmin  made  a  vow 

Upon  a  certain  day, 
To  sacrifice  a  fatted  sheep, 
And  so,  his  vow  to  pay, 
One  morning  to  the  market-place 
The  Brahmin  took  his  way. 


8o  Clever  Stories 

n. 
It  chanced  three  cunning  neighbors, 

Three  rogues  of  brazen  brow, 
Had  formed  the  wicked  purpose 

(My  tale  will  tell  you  how) 
To  cheat  the  pious  Brahmin, 

And  profit  by  his  vow. 

in. 

The  leader  of  these  cunning  knaves 

Went  forth  upon  the  road, 
And,  bearing  on  his  shoulders 

What  seemed  a  heavy  load, 
He  met  the  pious  Brahmin 

Not  far  from  his  abode. 

IV. 

"  What  have  you  there  ? "  the  Brahmin  said. 

"  Indeed,"  the  man  replies, 
"  I  have  the  finest,  fattest  sheep, 

And  of  the  largest  size  ; 
A  sheep  well  worthy  to  be  slain 

In  solemn  sacrifice  !  " 


The  Pious  Brahmin  and  /us  Neighbors  81 

v. 

And  then  the  rogue  laid  down  his  load, 

And  from  a  bag  drew  forth 
A  scurvy  dog  !  —  "  See  there  !  "  he  cried, 

"  The  finest  sheep  on  earth  ! 
And  you  shall  have  him,  if  you  will, 

For  less  than  he  is  worth." 

VI. 

"  Wretch  !  "  cried  the  pious  Brahmin, 

"  To  call  a  beast  so  mean 
A  goodly  sheep  !     'T  is  but  a  dog, 

Accursed  and  unclean  ; 
The  foulest,  leanest,  lamest  cur 

That  ever  yet  was  seen  ! " 

VII. 

Just  then  the  second  rogue  came  up : 
"  What  luck  !  "  he  said,  "  to  find 

So  soon  a  sheep  in  flesh  and  fleece 
Exactly  to  my  mind  !  " 

"  A  sheep  ?  "  exclaimed  the  Brahmin, 
"  Then  I  am  surely  blind  !  " 


82  Clever  Stories 

VIII. 

"  You  must  be  very  blind  indeed, 

Or  fond  of  telling  lies, 
To  say  the  beast  is  not  a  sheep  ! " 

The  cunning  rogue  replies  ; 
"  Go  get  a  leech  to  mend  your  tongue, 

Or  else  to  mend  your  eyes  !  " 

IX. 

Now  while  these  men  disputed  thus, 
The  other  rogue  drew  near, 

And  all  agreed  this  honest  man 
Should  make  the  matter  clear. 

"  O  stranger  !  "  cried  the  Brahmin, 
"  What  creature  have  we  here  ? " 

x. 

"  A  goodly  sheep  ! "  the  stranger  said. 

"  Alas  !  "  the  Brahmin  cried, 
"  A  moment  since  I  would  have  sworn 

This  honest  fellow  lied  ; 
But  now  I  know  it  is  a  sheep, 

Since  thus  you  all  decide." 


The  Pious  Brahmin  and  his  Neighbors  83 

XI. 

And  so  it  was  the  cunning  knaves 

Prevailed  in  their  device  ; 
The  pious  Brahmin  bought  the  dog, 

Nor  higgled  at  the  price  ; 
"  'T  will  make,"  he  said,  "  unto  the  gods 

A  pleasing  sacrifice  !  " 

XII. 

But  ill  betide  the  fatal  hour 

His  filthy  blood  was  shed  ; 
It  brought  no  benison,  alas ! 

Upon  the  Brahmin's  head  ; 
The  gods  were  angry  at  the  deed, 

And  sent  a  curse  instead. 

XIII. 

The  meaning  of  this  pleasant  tale 

Is  very  plainly  shown  ; 
The  man  is  sure  to  fall  at  last 

Who  does  n't  stand  alone  ; 
Don't  trust  to  other  people's  eyes, 

But  learn  to  mind  your  own. 


THE    THREE    GIFTS 


A    TALE    OF    NORTH    GERMANY. 


THE    THREE   GIFTS. 


A  TALE  OF   NORTH  GERMANY. 


HREE   gentlemen    mounted   their  horses 

one  day, 

And  far  in  the  country  they  rode, 
Till  they  came  to  a  cottage  that  stood  by  the  way, 
Where  an  honest  old  weaver  abode. 


5  Clever  Stories 

n. 
This  honest  old  weaver  was  wretchedly  poor, 

Yet  he  never  was  surly  nor  sad  ; 
He  welcomed  the  travellers  into  his  door, 

And  gave  them  the  best  that  he  had. 

in. 

They  ate  and  they  drank  till  the  weaver  began 
To  fear  that  they  never  would  cease  ; 

But  when  they  had  finished,  they  gave  to  the  man 
A  hundred  gold  guineas  apiece. 

IV. 

Then  the  gentlemen  mounted  their  horses  again, 
And,  bidding  the  weaver  "  Good  night," 

Went  dashing  away  over  valley  and  plain, 
And  were  presently  lost  to  his  sight. 

v. 

Sure  never  was  weaver  so  happy  before, 
And  never  seemed  guineas  so  bright ; 

He  counted  the  pieces  a  hundred  times  o'er, 
With  more  than  a  miser's  delight. 


Tke  Three  Gifts  89 

VI. 

Then  snug  in  some  rags  he  hid  them  away, 

As  if  he  had  got  them  by  stealth, 
Lest  his  meddlesome  wife,  who  was  absent  that  day, 

Should  know  of  his  wonderful  wealth. 

VII. 

Soon  after  a  travelling  rag-dealer  came, 

The  rags  in  the  bundle  were  sold, 
And  with  them  (the  woman  was  little  to  blame !) 

The  three  hundred  guineas  of  gold. 

VIII. 

When  a  calendar  year  had  vanished  and  fled, 

The  gentlemen  came  as  before  ; 
"  Now  how  does  it  happen,"  they  moodily  said, 

"  We  find  you  so  wretchedly  poor  ?  " 

IX. 

"  Alas  !  "  said  the  weaver,  "  this  many  a  day 

The  money  is  missing,  in  sooth  ; 
In  a  bundle  of  rags  it  was  hidden  away, 

('Fore  God  !  —  I  am  telling  the  truth  !) 


9O  Clever  Stories 

x. 

"  But  once,  in  my  absence,  a  rag-dealer  came, 

The  rags  in  the  bundle  were  sold, 
And  with  them  (the  woman  was  surely  to  blame  ! ) 

The  three  hundred  guineas  of  gold." 

XI. 

"  It  was  foolishly  done,"  the  gentlemen  swore  ; 

"  Now,  prithee,  be  careful  of  these  "  ; 
And  they  gave  him  again  —  the  same  as  before  — 

A  hundred  gold  guineas  apiece. 

XII. 

Then  the  gentlemen  mounted  their  horses  again, 
And,  bidding  the  weaver  "  Good  night," 

Went  dashing  away  over  valley  and  plain, 
And  were  presently  lost  to  his  sight. 

XIII. 

"  I'  faith  !  "  said  the  weaver,  "  no  wonder  they  chid  ; 

But  now  I  am  wiser,  I  trust "  ; 
So  the  three  hundred  guineas  he  carefully  hid 

Far  down  in  a  barrel  of  dust. 


The   Three  Gifts  91 

XIV. 

But  soon,  in  his  absence,  a  dustman  came, 

The  dust  in  the  barrel  was  sold ; 
And  with  it  (the  woman  was  little  to  blame ! ) 

The  three  hundred  guineas  of  gold. 

xv. 

When  a  calendar  year  had  vanished  and  fled, 

The  gentlemen  came  as  before  ; 
"  Now  how  does  it  happen,"  they  angrily  said, 

"  We  find  you  so  wretchedly  poor  ?  " 

XVI. 

44  Was  ever,"  he  cried,  "  so  luckless  a  wight  ? 

As  surely  as  Heaven  is  just, 
The  money  I  hid  from  my  spouse's  sight 

Far  down  in  a  barrel  of  dust ; 

xvn. 

44  But  when  I  was  absent  the  dustman  came, 

The  dust  in  the  barrel  was  sold, 
And  with  it  (the  woman  was  surely  to  blame !) 

The  three  hundred  guineas  of  gold." 


92  Clever  Stories 

XVIII. 

"  Take  that  for  your  folly  ! "  the  gentlemen  said  ; 

"  Was  ever  so  silly  a  wight  ? " 
And  they  tossed  on  the  table  a  lump  of  lead, 

And  were  presently  out  of  his  sight. 

XIX. 

"  'T  is  plain,"  said  the  weaver,  "  they  meant  to  flout 

And  little  I  marvel ;  alas  !  — 
My  wife  is  a  fool ;  and  there  is  n't  a  doubt 

That  I  am  an  arrant  ass ! " 

xx. 

While  thus  he  was  musing  in  sorrow  and  shame, 

And  wishing  that  he  was  dead, 
Into  his  cottage  a  fisherman  came 

To  borrow  a  lump  of  lead. 

XXI. 

"  Ah  !  here,"  he  cried,  "  is  the  thing  I  wish 

To  mend  my  broken  net ; 
Will  you  give  it  me  for  the  finest  fish 

That  I  this  day  may  get  ? " 


Tkc   Three  Gifts  93 

XXII. 

"  With  all  my  heart ! "  the  weaver  replies  ; 

And  so  the  fisherman  brought 
That  night  a  fish  of  wondrous  size,  — 

The  finest  that  he  had  caught. 

XXIII. 

He  opened  the  fish,  when  lo  and  behold  ! 

He  found  a  precious  stone  ; 
A  diamond  large  as  the  lead  he  sold, 

And  bright  as  the  morning  sun ! 

XXIV. 

For  a  thousand  guineas  the  stone  he  sold, 

(It  was  worth  a  hundred  more,) 
And  never,  't  is  said,  in  bliss  or  gold, 

Was  weaver  so  rich  before  ! 

XXV. 

But  often  —  to  keep  her  sway,  no  doubt, 

As  a  genuine  woman  must  — 
The  wife  would  say,  "/  brought  it  about 

By  selling  the  rags  and  dust ! " 


THE    YOUTH    AND    THE    NORTH 
WIND. 

A    TALE    OF    NORWAY. 


Si 


THE    YOUTH  AND    THE   NORTH-WIND. 


A    TALE    OF    NORWAY. 


NCE  on  a  time  —  't  was  long  ago  — 

There  lived  a  worthy  dame 
Who  sent  her  son  to  fetch  some  flour, 
For  she  was  old  and  lame. 


98  Clever  Stories 

ii. 

But  while  he  loitered  on  the  road, 
The  North-wind  chanced  to  stray 

Across  the  careless  younker's  path, 
And  stole  the  flour  away. 

in. 

"  Alas  !  what  shall  we  do  for  bread  ?  " 
Exclaimed  the  weeping  lad  ; 

"  The  flour  is  gone  !  —  the  flour  is  gone  ! 
And  it  was  all  we  had  ! " 

IV. 

And  so  he  sought  the  North-wind's  cave 

Beside  the  distant  main  ; 
"  Good  Master  Boreas  !  "  said  the  lad, 

"  I  want  my  flour  again  ! 

v. 

"  T  was  all  we  had  to  live  upon,  — - 

My  mother  old  and  I  ; 
O  give  us  back  the  flour  again, 

Or  we  shall  surely  die  ! " 


The   Youth  and  the  North-wind         99 

VI. 

"  I  have  it  not,"  the  North-wind  growled, 

"  But  for  your  lack  of  bread, 
I  give  to  you  this  table-cloth  ; 

'T  will  serve  you  well  instead  ; 

VII. 

"  For  you  have  but  to  spread  it  out, 

And  every  costly  dish 
Will  straight  appear  at  your  command, 

Whatever  you  may  wish." 

VIII. 

The  lad  received  the  magic  cloth 

With  wonder  and  delight, 
And  thanked  the  donor  heartily, 

As  well  indeed  he  might. 

IX. 

Returning  homeward,  at  an  inn 

Just  half  his  journey  through, 
He  fain  must  show  his  table-cloth, 

And  what  the  cloth  could  do. 


ioo  Clever  Stories 

x. 

So,  while  he  slept,  the  knavish  host 

Went  slyly  to  his  bed, 
And  stole  the  cloth,  —  but  shrewdly  placed 

Another  in  its  stead. 

XI. 

Unknowing  what  the  rogue  had  done, 

The  lad  went  on  his  way, 
And  came  unto  his  journey's  end 

Just  at  the  close  of  day. 

XII. 

He  showed  the  dame  his  table-cloth, 

And  told  her  of  its  power ; 
"  Good  sooth  !  "  he  cried,  "  't  was  well  for  us 

The  North-wind  stole  the  flour  !  " 

XIII. 

"  Perhaps,"  exclaimed  the  cautious  crone, 

"  The  story  may  be  true  ; 
'T  is  mighty  little  good,  I  ween, 

Your  table-cloth  can  do  !  " 


Youth  and  the  North-wind       101 


XIV. 

And  now  the  younker  spread  it  forth, 
And  tried  the  spell,  —  alas  ! 

'Twas  but  a  common  table-cloth, 
And  nothing  came  to  pass. 


xv. 
Then  to  the  North-wind,  far  away, 

He  sped  with  might  and  main  ; 
"  Your  table-cloth  is  good  for  naught ; 

I  want  my  flour  again  ! " 

XVI. 

"  I  have  it  not,"  the  North-wind  growled, 
"  But,  for  your  lack  of  bread, 

I  give  to  you  this  little  goat, 
'T  will  serve  you  well  instead  ; 

XVII. 

"  For  you  have  but  to  tell  him  this  : 
'  Make  money  !  Master  Bill ! ' 

And  he  will  give  you  golden  coins, 
As  many  as  you  will ! " 


IO2  Clever  Stories 

XVIII. 

The  lad  received  the  magic  goat, 

With  wonder  and  delight, 
And  thanked  the  donor  heartily, 
•rvAs  well  indeed  he  might. 


XIX. 

Returning  homeward,  at  the  inn 
Just  half  his  journey  through, 

He  fain  must  show  his  little  goat, 
And  what  the  goat  could  do. 

xx. 

So  while  he  slept,  the  knavish  host 

Went  slyly  to  the  shed, 
And  stole  the  goat,  —  but  shrewdly  placed 

Another  in  his  stead. 

XXI. 

Unknowing  what  the  rogue  had  done, 

The  youth  went  on  his  way, 
And  reached  his  weary  journey's  end 

Just  at  the  close  of  day. 


The   Youth  and  the  North-wind       103 

XXII. 

He  showed  the  dame  his  magic  goat, 

And  told  her  of  his  power  ; 
"  Good  sooth  !  "  he  cried,  "  't  was  well  for  us 

The  North-wind  stole  the  flour  !  " 

XXIII. 

"  I  much  misdoubt,"  the  dame  replied, 

"  Your  wondrous  tale  is  true  ; 
'T  is  little  good,  for  hungry  folk, 

Your  silly  goat  can  do  !  " 

XXIV. 

"  Good  Master  Bill ! "  the  lad  exclaimed, 

"  Make  money  !  "  —  but,  alas  ! 
'T  was  nothing  but  a  common  goat, 

And  nothing  came  to  pass  ! 

xxv. 

Then  to  the  North-wind,  angrily, 

He  sped  with  might  and  main : 
"  Your  foolish  goat  is  good  for  naught  ; 

I  want  mv  flour  ap-ain  ! " 


want  my  flour  again 


104  Clever  Stories 

XXVI. 

"  I  have  it  not,"  the  North-wind  growled, 
"  Nor  can  I  give  you  aught, 

Except  this  cudgel,  —  which,  indeed, 
A  magic  charm  has  got ; 

XXVII. 

"  For  you  have  but  to  tell  it  this : 

'  My  cudgel !  hit  away  ! ' 
And,  till  you  bid  it  stop  again, 

The  cudgel  will  obey." 

XXVIII. 

Returning  home,  he  stopped  at  night 
Where  he  had  lodged  before  ; 

And  feigning  to  be  fast  asleep, 
He  soon  began  to  snore. 

XXIX. 

And  when  the  host  would  steal  the  staff, 
The  sleeper  muttered,  "  Stay,  — 

I  see  what  you  would  fain  be  at ; 
Good  cudgel !  hit  away  ! " 


The   Youth  and  the  North-wind       105 

XXX. 

The  cudgel  thumped  about  his  ears, 

Till  he  began  to  cry, 
"  O  stop  the  staff,  for  mercy's  sake ! 

Or  I  shall  surely  die  ! " 

XXXI. 

But  still  the  cudgel  thumped  away 

Until  the  rascal  said, 
"  I  '11  give  you  back  the  cloth  and  goat  : 

O  spare  my  broken  head  ! " 

XXXII. 

And  so  it  was  the  lad  reclaimed 

His  table-cloth  and  goat ; 
And,  growing  rich,  at  length  became 

A  man  of  famous  note. 

XXXIII. 

He  kept  his  mother  tenderly, 

And  cheered  her  waning  life  ; 
And  married  —  as  you  may  suppose  — 

A  princess  for  a  wife  ; 


io5  Clever  Stories 

xxxiv. 

And  while  he  lived  had  ever  near, 
To  favor  worthy  ends, 

A  cudgel  for  his  enemies, 
And  money  for  his  friends  ! 


THE    UGLY   AUNT. 


A    TALE    FROM    THE    NORWEGIAN. 


THE    UGLY  AUNT. 

A  TALE   FROM   THE   NORWEGIAN. 
I. 

T  was  a  little  maiden 

Lived  long  and  long  ago, 
(Though  when  it  was,  and  where  it  was, 
I  'm  sure  I  do  not  know,) 
And  her  face  was  all  the  fortune 
This  maiden  had  to  show. 


1 1  o  Clever  Stories 

n. 

And  yet  —  what  many  people 
Will  think  extremely  rare 

In  one  who,  like  this  maiden, 
Ne'er  knew  a  mother's  care  — 

The  neighbors  all  asserted 
That  she  was  good  as  fair. 

III. 

u  Alack  !  "  exclaimed  the  damsel, 
While  bitter  tears  she  shed, 

"  I  'm  little  skilled  to  labor, 
And  yet  I  must  be  fed  ; 

I  fain  by  daily  service 

Would  earn  my  daily  bread." 

IV. 

And  so  she  sought  a  palace 
Where  dwelt  a  mighty  queen, 

And  when  the  royal  lady 
The  little  maid  had  seen, 

She  loved  her  for  her  beauty, 
Despite  her  lowly  mien. 


The  Ugly  Aunt  in 

v. 

Not  long  she  served  her  Majesty 

Ere  jealousy  arose, 
(Because  she  was  the  favorite, 

As  you  may  well  suppose,) 
And  all  the  other  servants 

Became  her  bitter  foes. 

VI. 

And  so  these  false  companions, 

In  envy  of  her  face, 
Contrived  a  wicked  stratagem 

To  bring  her  to  disgrace, 
And  fill  her  soul  with  sorrow, 

And  rob  her  of  her  place. 

VII. 

They  told  her  royal  Majesty, 

(Most  arrant  liars  they  !) 
That  often,  in  their  gossiping, 

They  'd  heard  the  maiden  say 
That  she  could  spin  a  pound  of  flax 

All  in  a  single  day  ! 


Clever  Stories 

VIII. 

"  Indeed  !  "  exclaimed  her  Majesty, 
"  I  'm  fond  of  spinning,  too  ; 

So  come,  my  little  maiden, 

And  make  your  boasting  true  ; 

Or  else  your  foolish  vanity 
You  presently  may  rue  !  " 

IX. 

Alas  !  the  hapless  damsel 

Was  now  afflicted  sore  : 
No  mother  e'er  had  taught  her 

In  such  ingenious  lore  ; 
A  spinning-wheel  in  all  her  life 

She  ne'er  had  seen  before. 

x. 

But  fearing  much  to  tell  the  queen 
How  she  had  been  belied. 

She  tried  to  spin  upon  the  wheel, 
And  still  in  vain  she  tried  ; 

And  so  —  't  was  all  that  she  could  do 
She  sat  her  down  and  cried. 


The  Ugly  Aunt  113 

XI. 

Now  while  she  thus  laments  her  fate 

In  sorrow  deep  and  wild, 
A  beldam  stands  before  her  view, 

And  says,  in  accents  mild, 
"  What  ails  thee  now,  my  pretty  one, 

Say,  what 's  the  matter,  child  !  " 

XII. 

Soon  as  she  heard  the  piteous  case, 

"  Cheer  up  !  "  the  beldam  said, 
"  I  '11  spin  for  thee  the  pound  of  flax, 

And  thou  shalt  go  to  bed, 
If  only  thou  wilt  call  me  '  Aunt/ 

The  day  that  thou  art  wed  ! " 

XIII. 

The  maiden  promised  true  and  fair, 

And  when  the  day  was  done, 
The  queen  went  in  to  see  the  task, 

And  found  it  fairly  spun  ; 
Quoth  she,  "  I  love  thee  passing  well, 

And  thou  shalt  wed  my  son  ! 


1 14  Clever  Stories 

XIV. 

"  For  one  who  spins  so  well  as  thee, 
(In  sooth  !  't  is  wondrous  fine  ! ) 

With  beauty,  too,  so  very  rare, 
And  goodness  such  as  thine, 

Should  be  the  daughter  of  a  queen, 
And  I  will  have  thee  mine  ! " 

xv. 
Now  when  the  wedding-day  had  come, 

And,  decked  in  royal  pride, 
Around  the  smoking  table  sat 

The  bridegroom  and  the  bride, 
With  all  the  royal  kinsfolk, 

And  many  guests  beside, 

XVI. 

In  came  a  beldam,  with  a  frisk  ; 

Was  ever  dame  so  bold  ? 
Or  one  so  lean  and  wrinkled, 

So.  ugly  and  so  old/ 
Or  with  a  nose  so  very  long 

And  shocking  to  behold  ? 


The   Ugly  Aunt  115 

XVII. 

Now  while  they  sat  in  wonderment 

This  curious  dame  to  see, 
She  said  unto  the  Princess, 

As  bold  as  bold  could  be, 
"  Good  morrow,  gentle  lady  !  " 

"  Good  morrow,  Aunt !  "  quoth  she. 

XVIII. 

The  Prince  with  gay  demeanor, 

But  with  an  inward  groan, 
Then  bade  her  sit  at  table, 

And  said,  in  friendly  tone, 
"  If  you  're  my  bride's  relation, 

Why  then  you  are  my  own  !  " 

XIX. 

When  dinner  now  was  ended, 

As  you  may  well  suppose, 
The  Prince  still  thought  about  his  Aunt, 

And  still  his  wonder  rose 
Where  could  the  ugly  beldam 

Have  got  so  long  a  nose  ! 


1 1 6  Clever  Stories 

xx. 

At  last  he  plainly  asked  her, 

Before  that  merry  throng, 
And  she  as  plainly  answered, 

(Nor  deemed  his  freedom  wrong,) 
"  'T  was  spinning  in  my  girlhood 

That  made  my  nose  so  long ! " 

XXI. 

"  Indeed  !  "  exclaimed  his  Highness, 

And  then  and  there  he  swore, 
"  Though  spinning  made  me  husband 

To  her  whom  I  adore, 
Lest  she  should  spoil  her  beauty, 

Why,  she  shall  spin  no  more  ! " 

*  If  the  present  version  is  more  simple  in  plot  than  the  prose  story 
in  the  "  Norske  Folkeeventer"  it  certainly  gains  something  in  refine 
ment  by  the  variation. 


^irS * 


HO-HO  OF  THE  GOLDEN  BELT. 


ONE    OF   THE   "  NINE    STORIES    OF    CHINA. 


'HO-HO   OF   THE   GOLDEN  BELT. 

ONE  OF  THE  "NINE   STORIES  OF   CHINA." 

BEAUTIFUL  maiden  was  little  MIN-NE, 
Eldest  daughter  of  wise  WANG-KE  : 
Her  skin  had  the  color  of  saffron  tea, 
And  her  nose  was  flat  as  flat  could  be  ; 
And  never  were  seen  such  beautiful  eyes, 
Two  almond-kernels  in  shape  and  size, 


I2O  Clever  Stories 

Set  in  a  couple  of  slanting  gashes, 

And  not  in  the  least  disfigured  by  lashes  ; 

And  then  such  feet ! 

You  'd  scarcely  meet 
In  the  longest  walk  through  the  grandest  street 

(And  you  might  go  seeking 

From  Nanking  to  Peeking) 
A  pair  so  remarkably  small  and  neat 

Two  little  stumps, 

Mere  pedal  lumps, 

That  toddle  along  with  the  funniest  thumps, 
In  China,  you  know,  .are  reckoned  trumps. 
It  seems  a  trifle,  to  make  such  a  boast  of  it ; 

But  how  they  will  dress  it, 

And  bandage  and  press  it, 
By  making  the  least,  to  make  the  most  of  it ! 

As  you  may  suppose, 
She  had  plenty  of  beaux 
Bowing  around  her  beautiful  toes, 
Praising  her  feet,  and  eyes,  and  nose 
In  rapturous  verse  and  elegant  prose ! 


Ho-Ho  of  the  Golden  Belt  1 2 1 

She  had  lots  of  lovers,  old  and  young  ; 
There  was  lofty  LONG,  and  babbling  LUNG, 
Opulent  TIN,  and  eloquent  TUNG, 
Musical  SING,  and,  the  rest  among, 
Great  HANG-YU  and  YU-BE-HUNG. 

But  though  they  smiled  and  smirked  and  bowed, 

None  could  please  her  of  all  the  crowd  ; 

LUNG  and  TUNG  she  thought  too  loud  ; 

Opulent  TIN  was  much  too  proud  ; 

Lofty  LONG  was  quite  too  tall ; 

Musical  SING  sung  very  small ; 

And,  most  remarkable  freak  of  all, 

Of  great  HANG-YU  the  lady  made  game, 

And  YU-BE-HUNG  she  mocked  the  same, 

By  echoing  back  his  ugly  name ! 

But  the  hardest  heart  is  doomed  to  melt ; 
Love  is  a  passion  that  will  be  felt ; 
And  just  when  scandal  was  makfhg  free 
To  hint  "  what  a  pretty  old  maid  she  'd  be,"  — 

Little  Min-Ney 

Who  but  she  ? 


122  Clever  Stories 

Married  Ho-Ho  of  the  Golden  Belt ! 

A  man,  I  must  own,  of  bad  reputation, 

And  low  in  purse,  though  high  in  station,  - 

A  sort  of  Imperial  poor-relation, 

Who  ranked  as  the  Emperor's  second  cousin 

Multiplied  by  a  hundred  dozen  ; 

And,  to  mark  the  love  the  Emperor  felt, 
Had  a  pension  clear 
Of  three  pounds  a  year, 

And  the  honor  of  wearing  a  Golden  Belt ! 

And  gallant  Ho-Ho 

Could  really  show 
A  handsome  face,  as  faces  go 
In  this  Flowery  Land,  where,  you  must  know, 
The  finest  flowers  of  beauty  grow. 
He  'd  the  very  widest  kind  of  jaws, 
And  his  nails  were  like  an  eagle's  claws, 
And  —  though  it  may  seem  a  wondrous  tail  — 
(Truth  is  mighty  and  will  prevail ! ) 
He  'd  a  queue  as  long  as  the  deepest  cause 
Under  the  Emperor's  chancery-laws  ! 


Ho-Ho  of  the  Golden  Belt  123 

Yet  how  he  managed  to  win  MiN-NE 

The  men  declared  they  could  n't  see  ; 

But  all  the  ladies,  over  their  tea, 

In  this  one  point  were  known  to  agree  :  — 

Four  gifts  were  sent  to  aid  his' plea  : 

A  smoking-pipe  with  a  golden  clog, 

A  box  of  tea,  and  a  poodle  dog, 

And  a  painted  heart  that  was  all  a-flame, 

And  bore,  in  blood,  the  lover's  name. 

Ah  !  how  could  presents  pretty  as  these 
A  delicate  lady  fail  to  please  ? 
She  smoked  the  pipe  with  the  golden  clog, 
And  drank  the  tea,  and  ate  the  dog, 
And  kept  the  heart,  —  and  that 's  the  way 
The  match  was  made,  the  gossips  say. 

I  can't  describe  the  wedding  day, 
Which  fell  in  the  lovely  month  of  May  ; 
Nor  stop  to  tell  of  the  Honey-Moon, 
And  how  it  vanished  all  too  soon  ; 
Alas !  that  I  the  truth  must  speak, 
And  say  that  in  the  fourteenth  week, 


124  Clever  Stories 

Soon  as  the  wedding-guests  were  gone, 
And  their  wedding-suits  began  to  doff, 

MiN-NE  was  weeping  and  "  taking  on," 
For  he  had  been  trying  to  "  take  her  off !  " 

Six  wives  before  he  had  sent  to  Heaven, 
And  being  partial  to  number  "  Seven," 
He  wished  to  add  his  latest  pet, 
Just,  perhaps,  to  make  up  the  set ! 
Mayhap  the  rascal  found  a  cause 
Of  discontent  in  a  certain  clause 
In  the  Emperor's  very  liberal  laws, 
Which  gives,  when  a  Golden  Belt  is  wed, 
Six  hundred  pounds  to  furnish  the  bed  ; 
And  if  in  turn  he  marry  a  score, 
With  every  wife  six  hundred  more. 

First  he  tried  to  murder  MIN-NE 
With  a  special  cup  of  poisoned  tea ; 
But  the  lady,  smelling  a  mortal  foe, 

Cried,  "  Ho-Ho ! 

I  'm  very  fond  of  mild  Souchong, 
But  you  —  my  love  —  you  make  it  too  strong ! 


Ho- Ho  of  the  Golden  Belt  125 

At  last  Ho-Ho,  the  treacherous  man, 
Contrived  the  most  infernal  plan 
Invented  since  the  world  began  : 
He  went  and  got  him  a  savage  dog, 
Who  'd  eat  a  woman  as  soon  as  a  frog, 
Kept  him  a  day  without  any  prog, 
Then  shut  him  up  in  an  iron  bin, 
Slipped  the  bolt,  and  locked  him  in  ; 

Then  giving  the  key 

To  poor  MIN-NE, 

Said,  "  Love,  there  's  something  you  must  rit  see 
In  the  chest  beneath  the  orange-tree." 
***** 
Poor,  mangled  MiN-NE !  with  her  latest  breath, 
She  told  her  father  the  cause  of  her  death  ; 
And  so  it  reached  the  Emperor's  ear, 
And  his  Highness  said,  "  It  is  very  clear, 
Ho-Ho  has  committed  a  murder  here  !  " 

And  he  doomed  Ho-Ho  to  end  his  life 
By  the  terrible  dog  that  killed  his  wife  ; 
But  in  mercy  (let  his  praise  be  sung ! ) 
His  thirteen  brothers  were  merely  hung, 


126 


Clever  Stories 


And  his  slaves  bambooed,  in  the  mildest  way, 
For  a  calendar  month,  three  times  a  day, 
And  that 's  the  way  that  JUSTICE  dealt 
With  wicked  Ho-Ho  of  the  Golden  Belt ! 


RAMPSINITUS   AND  THE    ROBBER. 

AN    EGYPTIAN    TALE. 


RAMPSINITUS    AND    THE    ROBBER. 


AN   EGYPTIAN  TALE. 


ING  RAMPSINITUS  was  a  prince 

Who  lived  in  days  of  old, 
And  finding  that  his  treasury 
Was  quite  too  small  to  hold 
His  jewels  and  his  money-bags 
Of  silver  and  of  gold, 


Clever  Stories 

n. 
He  built  a  secret  chamber, 

With  this  intent  alone, 
(That  is,  he  got  an  architect 

And  caused  it  to  be  done,) 
A  most  substantial  structure 

Of  mortar  and  of  stone. 

in. 

A  very  solid  building 
It  appeared  to  every  eye, 

Except  the  master-mason's, 
Who  plainly  could  espy 

One  stone  that  fitted  loosely 
When  the  masonry  was  dry. 

IV. 

A  dozen  years  had  vanished, 
When,  in  the  common  way, 

The  architect  was  summoned 
His  final  debt  to  pay, 

And  thus  unto  his  children 
The  dying  man  did  say  :  — 


Rampsinitus  and  the  Robber          131 

v. 

"  Come  hither  now,  my  darling  sons, 

Come,  list  my  children  twain, 
I  have  a  little  secret 

I  am  going  to  explain  ; 
'T  is  a  comfort,  now  I  'm  dying, 

That  I  have  n't  lived  in  vain." 

VI. 

And  then  he  plainly  told  them 
Of  the  trick  that  he  had  done  ; 

How  in  the  royal  chamber 
He  had  put  a  sliding  stone,  — 

"  You  '11  find  it  near  the  bottom, 
On  the  side  that 's  next  the  sun. 

VII. 

"  Now  I  feel  that  I  am  going ; 

Swift  ebbs  the  vital  tide  ; 
No  longer  in  this  wicked  world 

My  spirit  may  abide  ! " 
And  so  this  worthy  gentleman 

Turned  up  his  toes  and  died ! 


132  Clever  Stories 

VIII. 

It  was  n't  long  before  the  sons 

Improved  the  father's  hint, 
And  searched  the  secret  chamber 

To  discover  what  was  in  't ; 
And  found,  by  self-promotion, 

They  were  "  Masters  of  the  Mint !  " 

IX. 

At  length  King  RAMPSINITUS 
Perceived,  as  well  he  might, 

His  caskets  and  his  money-bags 
Were  getting  rather  light ; 

"  And  yet,"  quoth  he,  "  my  bolts  and  bars 
Are  all  exactly  right ! 

x. 

"  I  wonder  how  the  cunning  dog 

Has  managed  to  get  in  ; 
However,  it  is  clear  enough 

I  'm  losing  lots  of  tin  ; 
I  '11  try  the  virtue  of  a  trap 

Before  the  largest  bin  !  " 


Rampsinitus  and  the  Robber          133 

XL 

In  came  the  thief  that  very  night, 

And  soon  the  other  chap, 
Who  waited  at  the  opening, 

On  hearing  something  snap, 
Went  in  and  found  his  brother 

A-sitting  in  the  trap  ! 

XII. 

"  You  see  me  in  a  pretty  fix  ! " 

The  gallant  fellow  said  ; 
"  T  is  better,  now,  that  one  should  die 

Than  two  of  us  be  dead  : 
Lest  both  should  be  detected, 

Cut  off  my  foolish  head  !  " 

XIII. 

"  Indeed,"  replied  the  other, 

"  Such  a  cut  were  hardly  kind, 
And  to  obey  your  order 

I  am  truly  disinclined  ; 
But,  as  you  're  the  elder  brother, 

I  suppose  I  ought  to  mind." 


134  Clever  Stories 

XIV. 

So  with  his  iron  hanger 

He  severed,  at  a  slap, 
The  noddle  of  the  victim, 

Which  he  carried  through  the  gap, 
And  left  the  bleeding  body 

A-sitting  in  the  trap. 

xv. 

His  Majesty's  amazement 
Of  course  was  very  great, 

On  entering  the  chamber 
That  held  his  cash  and  plate, 

To  find  the  robber's  body 
Without  a  bit  of  pate  ! 

XVI. 

To  solve  the  mighty  mystery 
Was  now  his  whole  intent ; 

And  everywhere,  to  find  the  head, 
His  officers  were  sent  ; 

But  every  man  came  back  again 
No  wiser  than  he  went. 


Rampsinitus  and  the  Robber          135 

XVII. 

At  last  he  set  a  dozen  men 

The  mystery  to  trace  ; 
And  bade  them  watch  the  body 

In  a  very  public  place, 
And  note  what  signs  of  sorrow 

They  might  see  in  any  face. 

XVIII. 

The  robber,  guessing  what  it  meant, 

Was  naturally  shy ; 
And  though  he  mingled  in  the  crowd, 

Took  care  to  "  mind  his  eye," 
For  fear  his  brother's  body-guard 

His  sorrow  should  espy. 

XIX. 

"  I  '11  cheat  'em  yet !  "  the  fellow  said, 

And  so  that  very  night 
He  planned  a  cunning  stratagem 

To  get  the  soldiers  "  tight," 
And  steal  away  his  brother's  trunk 

Before  the  morning  light. 


136  Clever  Stories 

xx. 

He  got  a  dozen  asses, 

And  put  upon  their  backs 

As  many  loads  as  donkeys 
Of  wine  in  leather-sacks  ; 

Then  set  the  bags  a-leaking 
From  a  dozen  little  cracks. 

XXI. 

Then  going  where  the  soldiers 
Were  keeping  watch  and  ward, 

The  fellows  saw  the  leaking  wine 
With  covetous  regard, 

And  straitway  fell  a-drinking, 
And  drank  extremely  hard. 

XXII. 

The  owner  stormed  and  scolded 
With  well-affected  spunk, 

But  still  they  kept  a-drinking 
Till  all  of  them  were  drunk  ; 

And  so  it  was  the  robber 

Stole  off  his  brother's  trunk  ! 


Rampsinitus  and  the  Robber          137 

XXIII. 

Now  when  King  RAMPSINITUS 

Had  heard  the  latest  news, 
Tis  said  his  royal  Majesty 

Expressed  his  royal  views 
In  language  such  as  gentlemen 

Are  seldom  known  to  use  ! 

XXIV. 

Now  when  a  year  had  vanished, 

He  formed  another  plan 
To  catch  the  chap  who  'd  stolen 

The  mutilated  man  ; 
And  summoning  the  Princess, 

His  Majesty  began  :  — 

xxv. 

"  My  daughter,  hold  a  masquerade 

And  offer  —  as  in  fun  — 
Five  kisses  (in  your  chamber) 

To  every  mother's  son 
Who  will  tell  the  shrewdest  mischief 

That  he  ever  yet  has  done. 


i  38  Clever  Stories 


XXVI. 

"  If  you  chance  to  find  the  robber 
By  the  trick  that  I  have  planned, 

Remember,  on  the  instant, 

You  must  seize  him  by  the  hand, 

Then  await  such  further  orders 
As  your  father  may  command." 

XXVII. 

The  Princess  made  the  party, 

Without  the  least  dissent ; 
'T  was  a  general  invitation, 

And  everybody  went,  — 
The  robber  with  the  others, 

Though  he  guessed  the  king's  intent. 

XXVIII. 

Now  when  the  cunning  robber 
Was  questioned,  like  the  rest, 

He  said,  "  Your  Royal  Highness, 
I  solemnly  protest 

Of  all  my  subtle  rogueries, 
I  scarce  know  which  is  best : 


Rampsinitus  and  the  Robber          139 

XXIX. 

"  But  I  venture  the  opinion, 

'Twas  a  rather  pretty  job, 
When,  having  with  my  hanger 

Cut  off  my  brother's  nob, 
I  managed  from  the  soldiers 

His  headless  trunk  to  rob  ! " 

xxx. 

And  now  the  frightened  Princess 

Gave  a  very  heavy  groan, 
For,  to  her  consternation, 

The  cunning  thief  had  flown, 
And  left  the  hand  she  grappled 

Still  lying  in  her  own  ! 

XXXI. 

(For  he  a  hand  had  borrowed, 

'T  is  needful  to  be  said, 
From  the  body  of  a  gentleman 

That  recently  was  dead, 
And  that  he  gave  the  Princess 

The  moment  that  he  fled  !) 


140  Clever  Stories 

XXXII. 

Then  good  King  RAMPSINITUS 

Incontinently  swore 
That  this  paragon  of  robbers 

He  would  persecute  no  more  ; 
For  such  a  clever  rascal 

Had  never  lived  before  ! 

xxxin. 
And  in  that  goodly  company 

His  Majesty  declared, 
That,  if  the  thief  would  show  himself, 

His  person  should  be  spared, 
And  with  his  only  daughter 

In  marriage  should  be  paired  ! 

xxxiv. 

And  when  King  RAMPSINITUS 
Had  run  his  mortal  lease, 

He  left  them  in  his  testament 
Just  half  a  crown  apiece  : 

May  ever  modest  merit 
Thus  flourish  and  increase  ! 


THE  WANDERING  JEW. 


A    BALLAD. 


THE    WANDERING   JEW. 


A   BALLAD. 


OME  list,  my  dear, 
And  you  shall  hear 
About  the  wonderful  Wandering  Jew, 
Who  night  and  day, 
The  legends  say, 
Is  taking  a  journey  he  never  gets  through. 


144  Clever  Stories 

n. 

What  is  his  name, 

Or  whence  he  came, 
Or  whither  the  weary  wanderer  goes  ; 

Or  why  he  should  stray 

In  this  singular  way, 
Many  have  marvelled,  but  nobody  knows. 

in. 

Though  oft,  indeed, 

(As  you  may  read 
In  ancient  histories  quaint  and  true,) 

A  man  is  seen 

Of  haggard  mien 
Whom  people  call  the  Wandering  Jew. 

IV. 

Once  in  Brabant, 

With  garments  scant, 
And  shoeless  feet,  a  stranger  appeared  ; 

His  step  was  slow, 

And  white  as  snow 
Were  his  waving  locks  and  flowing  beard. 


The   Wandering  Jew  145 

v. 

His  cheek  was  spare, 

His  head  was  bare, 
And  little  he  recked  of  heat  or  cold ; 

Misfortune's  trace 

Was  in  his  face, 
And  he  seemed   at  least  a  century  old. 

VI. 

"  Now,  goodman,  bide," 

The  people  cried, 
"  The  night  with  us,  —  it  were  surely  best ; 

The  wind  is  cold, 

And  thou  art  old, 
And  sorely  needest  shelter  and  rest !  " 

VII. 

"  Thanks  !  thanks  !  "  said  he, 

"  It  may  not  be 
That  I  should  tarry  the  night  with  you  ; 

I  cannot  stay  ; 

I  must  away, 
For  I,  alas  !  am  the  Wandering  Jew  !  " 


146  Clever  Stories 

VIII. 

"  We  oft  have  read," 

The  people  said, 
"  Thou  bearest  ever  a  nameless  woe  ; 

Now,  prithee  tell 

How  it  befell 
That  thou  art  always  wandering  so  ? " 

IX. 

"  The  time  would  fail 

To  tell  my  tale, 
And  yet  a  little,  ere  I  depart, 

Would  I  relate 

About  my  fate, 
For  some  —  perhaps  —  may  lay  it  to  heart. 

x. 

"  When  but  a  youth, 

(And  such,  in  sooth, 
Are  ever  of  giddy  and  wanton  mood,) 

With  tearless  eye 

I  saw  pass  by 
The  Saviour  bearing  the  hateful  rood. 


T/ie   Wandering  Jew  147 

XI. 

"  And  when  he  stooped, 

And,  groaning,  drooped 
And  staggered  and  fell  beneath  the  weight, 

I  cursed  his  name, 

And  cried,  '  For  shame  ! 
Move  on,  blasphemer,  and  meet  thy  fate  ! ' 

XII. 

"  He  raised  his  head, 

And,  smiling,  said : 
'Move  on  thyself!     In  sorrow  and  pain. 

When  I  am  gone, 

Shalt  thou  move  on, 
Nor  rest  thy  foot  till  I  come  again  ! ' 

XIII. 

"  Alas  !  the  time 

That  saw  my  crime  - — 
('T  was  more  than  a  thousand  years  ago  ! ) 

And  since  that  hour 

Some  inward  power 
Has  kept  me  wandering  to  and  fro. 


148  Clever  Stories 

XIV. 

"  I  fain  would  die 

That  I  might  lie 
With  those  who  sleep  in  the  silent  tomb  ; 

But  not  for  me 

Is  rest  —  till  He 
Shall  come  to  end  my  dreadful  doom. 

xv. 

"  The  pestilence 

That  hurries  hence 
A  thousand  souls  in  a  single  night, 

Brings  me  no  death 

Upon  its  breath, 
But  passes  by  in  its  wayward  flight. 

XVI. 

"  The  storm  that  wrecks 

An  hundred  decks, 
And  drowns  the  shuddering,  shrieking  crew, 

Still  leaves  afloat 

The  fragile  boat 
That  bears  the  life  of  the  Wandering  Jew. 


The   Wandering  Jew  149 

XVII. 

"  But  I  must  away  ; 

I  cannot  stay  ; 
Nor  further  suffer  a  moment's  loss  ; 

Heed  well  the  word 

That  ye  have  heard,  — 
Nor  spurn  the  Saviour  who  bore  the  Cross ! " 

*  The  tradition  of  the  Wandering  Jew  is  very  old  and  popular  in 
every  country  of  Europe,  and  is  the  theme  of  many  modern  works  of 
fiction,  of  which  the  most  famous  are  Lewis's  "Monk,"  Southey's 
"Curse  of  Kehama,"  Croly's  "Salathiel,"  a  romance  by  Goethe,  and 
a  novel  by  Sue.  The  old  Spanish  writers  make  the  narrative  as  dia 
bolical  and  revolting  as  possible,  while  the  French  and  Flemish  au 
thors  soften  the  legend  (as  in  the  present  ballad)  into  a  pathetic  story 
of  sin,  suffering,  and  genuine  repentance. 


THE    ROMANCE    OF    NICK    VAN 

STANN. 


THE   ROMANCE    OF   NICK    VAN    STANN. 


CANNOT  vouch  my  tale  is  true, 
Nor  swear,  indeed,  't  is  wholly  new 
But  true  or  false,  or  new  or  old, 
I  think  you  '11  find  it  fairly  told. 

A  Frenchman  who  had  ne'er  before 
Set  foot  upon  a  foreign  shore, 


154  Clever  Stories 

Weary  of  home,  resolved  to  go 

And  see  what  Holland  had  to  show. 

He  did  n't  know  a  word  of  Dutch, 

But  that  could  hardly  grieve  him  much  ; 

He  thought  —  as  Frenchmen  always  do  — 

That  all  the  world  could  "parley-voo." 

At  length  our  eager  tourist  stands 
Within  the  famous  Netherlands, 
And,  strolling  gayly  here  and  there 
In  search  of  something  rich  or  rare, 
A  lordly  mansion  greets  his  eyes  ; 
"  How  beautiful !  "  the  Frenchman  cries, 
And,  bowing  to  the  man  who  sat 
In  livery  at  the  garden-gate, 
"  Pray,  Mr.  Porter,  if  you  please, 
Whose  very  charming  grounds  are  these  ? 
And  —  pardon  me  —  be  pleased  to  tell 
Who  in  this  splendid  house  may  dwell  ? " 
To  which,  in  Dutch,  the  puzzled  man 
Replied  what  seemed  like  "Nick  Van  Stann." 

*  Niet  verstaan  =  don't  understand. 


The  Romance  of  Nick  Van  Stann     155 

"  Thanks  !  "  said  the  Gaul,  "  the  owner's  taste 

Is  equally  superb  and  chaste  ; 

So  fine  a  house,  upon  my  word, 

Not  even  Paris  can  afford. 

With  statues,  too,  in  every  niche, 

Of  course,  Monsieur  Van  Stann  is  rich, 

And  lives,  I  warrant,  like  a  king,  — 

Ah  !  wealth  must  be  a  charming  thing  !  " 

In  Amsterdam  the  Frenchman  meets 
A  thousand  wonders  in  the  streets, 
But  most  he  marvels  to  behold 
A  lady  dressed  in  silk  and  gold. 
Gazing  with  rapture  at  the  dame, 
He  begs  to  know  the  lady's  name, 
And  hears  —  to  raise  his  wonder  more  — 
The  very  words  he  heard  before  ! 
"  Mercie  !  "  he  cries,  "  well,  on  my  life, 
Milord  has  got  a  charming  wife  ; 
'T  is  plain  to  see,  this  Nick  Van  Stann 
Must  be  a  very  happy  man  !  " 

Next  day,  our  tourist  chanced  to  pop 
His  head  within  a  lottery-shop, 


156  Clever  Stories 

And  there  he  saw,  with  staring  eyes, 

The  drawing  of  the  Mammoth  Prize. 

"  Ten  Millions  !  —  'T  is  a  pretty  sum  ; 

I  wish  I  had  as  much  at  home  ! 

I  'd  like  to  know,  as  I  'm  a  sinner, 

What  lucky  fellow  is  the  winner  ?  " 

Conceive  our  traveller's  amaze 

To  hear  again  the  hackneyed  phrase  ! 

"  What !     No  ?  —  not  Nick  Van  Stann  again  ? 

Faith  !  he  's  the  luckiest  of  men  ! 

You  may  be  sure  we  don't  advance 

So  rapidly  as  that  in  France ! 

A  house,  the  finest  in  the  land  ; 

A  lovely  garden,  nicely  planned  ; 

A  perfect  angel  of  a  wife, 

And  gold  enough  to  last  a  life,  — 

There  never  yet  was  mortal  man 

So  very  blessed  as  Nick  Van  Stann  !  " 

Next  day  the  Frenchman  chanced  to  meet 
A  pompous  funeral  in  the  street, 
And,  asking  one  who  stood  near  by 
What  nobleman  had  pleased  to  die, 
Was  stunned  to  hear  the  old  reply  ! 


The  Romance  of  Nick  Van  Stann     157 

The  Frenchman  sighed  and  shook  his  head, 
"  Man  Dieu  !  poor  Nick  Van  Stann  is  dead  ! 
With  such  a  house,  and  such  a  wife, 
It  must  be  hard  to  part  with  life  ; 
And  then,  to  lose  that  Mammoth  Prize  ! 
He  wins,  and  —  pop  !  —  the  winner  dies  ! 
Ah  !  well,  —  his  blessings  came  so  fast, 
I  greatly  feared  they  couldn'  t  last  ; 
And  thus,  we  see,  the  sword  of  Fate 
Cuts  down  alike  the  small  and  great ! " 


KING   SOLOMON    AN-P   THE    BEES. 

FROM    THE    SANSCRIT. 


%$         i 


KING   SOLOMON  AND    THE  BEES. 


FROM   THE   SANSCRIT. 


HEN  SOLOMON  was  reigning  in  his  glory, 
Unto  his  throne  the  Queen  of  Sheba 

came, 
(So  in  the  Talmud you  may  read  the  story,) 

Drawn  by  the  magic  of  the  monarch's  fame, 
To  see  the  splendors  of  his  court ;  and  bring 
Some  fitting  tribute  to  the  mighty  king. 


1 62  Clever  Stories 

ii. 
Nor  this  alone  ;  much  had  her  Highness  heard 

What  flowers  of  learning  graced  the  royal  speech  ; 
What  gems  of  wisdom  dropped  with  every  word  ; 

What  wholesome  lessons  he  was  wont  to  teach 
In  pleasing  proverbs  ;  and  she  wished,  in  sooth, 
To  know  if  Rumor  spoke  the  simple  truth. 

in. 
Besides,  the  Queen  had  heard  (which  piqued  her  most) 

How  through  the  deepest  riddles  he  could  spy  ; 
How  all  the  curious  arts  that  women  boast 

Were  quite  transparent  to  his  piercing  eye  ; 
And  so  the  Queen  had  come  —  a  royal  guest  - 
To  put  the  sage's  cunning  to  the  test. 

IV. 

And  straight  she  held  before  the  monarch's  view, 
In  either  hand,  a  radiant  wreath  of  flowers  ; 

The  one,  bedecked  with  every  charming  hue, 

Was  newly  culled  from  Nature's  choicest  bowers  ; 

The  other,  no  less  fair  in  every  part, 

Was  the  rare  product  of  divinest  Art. 


King  Solomon  and  the  Bees  163 

v. 

"  Which  is  the  true,  and  which  the  false  ? "  she  said. 

Great  SOLOMON  was  silent.     All  amazed, 
Each  wondering  courtier  shook  his  puzzled  head, 

While  at  the  garlands  long  the  monarch  gazed, 
As  one  who  sees  a  miracle,  and  fain, 
For  very  rapture,  ne'er  would  speak  again. 

VI. 

"  Which  is  the  true  ? "  once  more  the  woman  asked, 
Pleased  at  the  fond  amazement  of  the  King ; 

"  So  wise  a  head  should  not  be  hardly  tasked, 
Most  learned  Liege,  with  such  a  trivial  thing  !  " 

But  still  the  sage  was  silent ;  it  was  plain 

A  deepening  doubt  perplexed  the  royal  brain. 

VII. 

While  thus  he  pondered,  presently  he  sees, 
Hard  by  the  casement,  —  so  the  story  goes, — 

A  little  band  of  busy,  bustling  bees, 
Hunting  for  honey  in  a  withered  rose. 

The  monarch  smiled,  and  raised  his  royal  head  ; 

u  Open  the  window  !  "  —  that  was  all  he  said. 


164  Clever  Stories 

VIII. 

The  window  opened  at  the  King's  command  ; 

Within  the  rooms  the  eager  insects  flew, 
And  sought  the  flowers  in  SHEBA'S  dexter  hand  ! 

And  so  the  King  and  all  the  courtiers  knew 
That  wreath  was  Nature's  ;  and  the  baffled  Queen 
Returned  to  tell  the  wonders  she  had  seen. 

IX. 

My  story  teaches  (every  tale  should  bear 
A  fitting  moral)  that  the  wise  may  find 

In  trifles  light  as  atoms  in  the  air 

Some  useful  lesson  to  enrich  the  mind,  — 

Some  truth  designed  to  profit  or  to  please,  — 

As  Israel's  king  learned  wisdom  from  the  bees ! 


*^        ^r      -^^» 

* 


ICARUS; 

OR, 

THE    PERIL    OF    BORROWED    PLUMES. 


^^B^% 


ICARUS. 


LL  modern  themes  of  poesy  are  spun  so 

very  fine, 
That  now  the  most  amusing  muse,  *?.  gratia, 

such  as  mine, 
Is  often  forced  to  cut  the  thread  that  strings  our 

recent  rhymes, 

And  try  the  stronger  staple  of  the  good  old  classic 
times. 


1 68  Clever  Stories 

n. 

There  lived  and  flourished  long  ago,  in  famous  Ath 
ens-town, 

One  DAEDALUS,  a  carpenter  of  genius  and  renown  ; 

('T  was  he  who  with  an  auger  taught  mechanics  how 
to  bore, — 

An  art  which  the  philosophers  monopolized  be 
fore.) 

III. 

His  only  son  was  ICARUS,  a  most  precocious  lad, 
The  pride  of  Mrs.  Daedalus,  the  image  of  his  dad  ; 
And  while  he  yet  was  in  his  teens  such  progress  he 

had  made, 
He  'd  got  above  his  father's  size,  and  much  above  his 

trade. 

IV. 

Now  D^DALUS,  the  carpenter,  had  made  a  pair  of 

wings, 
Contrived  of  wood  and  feathers  and  a  cunning  set 

of  springs, 


Icarus  169 

By  means  of  which  the  wearer  could  ascend  to  any 

height, 
And  sail  about  among  the  clouds  as  easy  as  a  kite  ! 


v. 

"  O  father,"  said  young  ICARUS,  "  how  I  should  like 

to  fly! 
And  go  like  you  where  all  is  blue  along  the  upper 

sky; 
How  very  charming  it  would  be  above  the  moon  to 

climb, 
And  scamper  thro'  the  Zodiac,  and  have  a  high  old 

time  ! 

VI. 

"  O  wouldn't  it  be  jolly,  though,  —  to  stop  at  all  the 

inns  ;  , 

To  take  a  luncheon  at  '  The  Crab,'  and  tipple  at  '  The 

Twins  '  ; 
And,  just  for  fun  and  fancy,  while  careering  through 

the  air, 
To  kiss  the  Virgin,  tease  the  Ram,  and  bait  the 

biggest  Bear? 


170  Clever  Stories 

VII. 

"  O  father,  please  to  let  me  go  !  "  was  still  the  urchin's 

cry; 
"  I  '11  be  extremely  careful,  sir,  and  won't  go  very  high  ; 

0  if  this  little  pleasure-trip  you  only  will  allow, 

1  promise  to  be  back  again  in  time  to  fetch  the 

cow ! " 

VIII. 

"  You  're  rather  young,"  said  D^DALUS,  "  to  tempt 
the  upper  air ; 

But  take  the  wings,  and  mind  your  eye  with  very 
special  care  ; 

And  keep  at  least  a  thousand  miles  below  the  near 
est  star  ; 

Young  lads,  when  out  upon  a  lark,  are  apt  to  go  too 
far ! " 

IX. 

He  took  the  wings  —  that  foolish  boy  —  without  the 

least  dismay, 
(His  father  stuck  'em  on  with  wax,)  and  so  he  soared 

away  ; 


Icarus  1 7  i 

Up  —  up  he  rises,  like  a  bird,  and  not  a  moment 
stops 

Until  he  's  fairly  out  of  sight  beyond  the  mountain- 
tops  ! 


And  still  he  flies  —  away  —  away  ;  it  seems  the 
merest  fun  ; 

No  marvel  he  is  getting  bold,  and  aiming  at  the 
sun  ; 

No  marvel  he  forgets  his  sire  ;  it  is  n't  very  odd 

That  one  so  far  above  the  earth  should  think  him 
self  a  god  ! 


XI. 


Already,  in  his  silly  pride,  he  's  gone  too  far  aloft ; 
The  heat  begins  to  scorch  his  wings  ;  the  wax  is 

waxing  soft  ; 
Down  —  down  he  goes  !  —  Alas  !  —  next  day   poor 

ICARUS  was  found 
Afloat  upon  the  ^Egean  Sea,  extremely  damp  and 

drowned ! 


172  Clever  Stories 

L'ENVOI. 

The  moral  of  this  mournful  tale  is  plain  enough  to 
all:- 

Don't  get  above  your  proper  sphere,  or  you  may 
chance  to  fall  ; 

Remember,  too,  that  borrowed  plumes  are  most  un 
certain  things  ; 

And  never  try  to  scale  the  sky  with  other  people's 
wings ! 


THE    STORY    OF    ECHO. 


THE   STORY  OF  ECHO. 


BEAUTIFUL  maiden  was  ECHO 

As  classical  history  tells, 
A  favorite  nymph  of  DIANA, 
Who  dwelt  among  forests  and  dells. 


176  Clever  Stories 

n. 
Now  ECHO  was  very  loquacious, 

And  though  she  was  silly  and  young, 
It  seems  that  she  never  was  weary 

Of  plying  her  voluble  tongue. 

in. 

And  I  'm  sorry  to  say,  in  addition, 
Besides  her  impertinent  clack, 

She  had,  upon  every  occasion, 
A  habit  of  answering  back. 

IV. 

Though  even  the  wisest  of  matrons 
In  grave  conversation  was  heard, 

Miss  ECHO  forever  insisted 

On  having  the  ultimate  word,  — 

v. 
A  fault  so  exceedingly  hateful, 

That  JUNO  (whom  ECHO  betrayed 
While  the  goddess  was  hearing  her  babble) 

Determined  to  punish  the  maid. 


The  Story  of  Echo  \  7  7 

VI. 

Said  she,  "  In  reward  of  your  folly, 
Henceforward  in  vain  you  will  try 

To  talk  in  the  manner  of  others : 
At  best,  you  can  only  reply  !  " 

VII. 

A  terrible  punishment  truly 

For  one  of  so  lively  a  turn, 
And  it  brought  the  poor  maiden  to  ruin, 

In  the  way  you  will  presently  learn. 

VIII. 

For,  meeting  the  handsome  NARCISSUS, 

And  wishing  his  favor  to  gain, 
Full  often  she  tried  to  address  him, 

But  always  endeavored  in  vain. 

IX. 

And  when,  as  it  finally  happened, 
He  spoke  to  the  damsel  one  day, 

Her  answer  seemed  only  to  mock  him, 
And  drove  him  in  anger  away. 


178  Clever  Stories 

x. 

Ah  !  sad  was  the  fate  of  poor  ECHO  ; 

Was  ever  so  hapless  a  maid  ? 
She  wasted  away  in  her  sorrow, 

Until  she  was  wholly  decayed  ! 

XI. 

But  her  voice  is  still  living  immortal,  — 
The  same  you  have  frequently  heard, 

When  strolling  in  forests  or  valleys, 
Repeating  your  ultimate  word  ! 


THE     CHOICE     OF     KING     MIDAS; 

OR, 

TOO    MUCH    OF   A   GOOD   THING. 


^  s| 

-*^=  :          : 


THE   CHOICE   OF  KING  MIDAS. 


IDAS,  King  of  Phrygia,  several  thousand 

years  ago, 
Was  a  very  worthy  monarch,  as  the  classic 

annals  show :  — 
You  may  read  'em  at  your  leisure,  when  you  have  a 

mind  to  doze, 
In  the  finest  Latin  verses,  or  in  choice  Hellenic  prose. 


1 82  Clever  Stories 

n. 
Now  this  notable  old  monarch,  King  of  Phrygia,  as 

aforesaid, 
(Of  whose  royal  state  and  character  there  might  be 

vastly  more  said,) 

Though  he  occupied  a  palace,  kept  a  very  open  door, 
And  had  still  a  ready  welcome  for  the  stranger  and 

the  poor. 

in. 

Now  it  chanced  that  old  SILENUS,  who,  it  seems,  had 
lost  his  way, 

Following  BACCHUS  through  the  forest,  in  the  pleas 
ant  month  of  May,  — 

(Which  was  n't  very  singular,  for  at  the  present  day 

The  followers  of  BACCHUS  very  often  go  astray,)  — 

IV. 

Came  at  last  to  good  King  MIDAS,  who  received  him 
in  his  court, 

Gave  him  comfortable  lodgings,  and  —  to  cut  the  mat 
ter  short  — 

With  as  much  consideration  treated  weary  old  SILENUS, 

As  if  the  entertainment  were  for  MERCURY  or  VENUS. 


The  Choice  of  King  Midas  183 

v. 
Now  when  BACCHUS  heard  the  story,  he  proceeded  to 

the  King, 
And  says  he,  "By  old  SILENUS  you  have  done  the 

handsome  thing  ; 
He  's  my  much  respected  tutor,  who  has  taught  me 

how  to  read, 
And  I  'm  sure  your  royal  kindness  should  receive  its 

proper  meed  ; 

VI. 

So  I  grant  you  full  permission  to  select  your  own 

reward, 
Choose  a  gift  to  suit  your  fancy,  —  something  worthy 

of  a  lord  !  " 
"  Evcc  Bacche  !  "  cried  the  monarch,  "  if  I  do  not  make 

too  bold, 
Let  whatever  I  may  handle  be  transmuted  into  gold ! " 

VII. 

MIDAS,  sitting  down  to  dinner,  sees  the  answer  to  his 

wish, 
For  the  turbot  on  the  platter  turns  into  a  golden  fish  ! 


184  Clever  Stories 

And  the  bread  between    his   fingers   is   no   longer 

wheaten  bread, 
But  the  slice  he  tries  to  swallow  is  a  wedge  of  gold 

instead  ! 

VIII. 

And  the  roast  he  takes  for  mutton  fills  his  mouth  with 

golden  meat, 
Very  tempting  to  the  vision,  but  extremely  hard  to 

eat ; 

And  the  liquor  in  his  goblet,  very  rare,  select,  and  old, 
Down  the  monarch's  thirsty  throttle  runs  a  stream  of 

liquid  gold ! 

IX. 

Quite  disgusted  with  his  dining,  he  betakes  him  to  his 

bed; 
But,  alas !  the  golden  pillow  does  n't  rest  his  weary 

head  ; 
Nor  does  all  the  gold  around  him  soothe  the  monarch's 

tender  skin  ; 
Golden  sheets,  to  sleepy  mortals,  might  as  well  be 

sheets  of  tin  ! 


The  Choice  of  King  Midas  185 

x. 

Now  poor  MIDAS,  straight  repenting  of  his  rash  and 

foolish  choice, 
Went  to  Bacchus,  and  assured  him,  in  a  very  plaintive 

voice, 
That  his  golden  gift  was  working  in  a  manner  most 

unpleasant ; 
And  the  god,  in  sheer  compassion,  took  away  the  fatal 

present. 

MORAL. 

By  this  mythologic  story  we  are  very  plainly  told, 

That,  though  gold  may  have  its  uses,  there  are  better 
things  than  gold  ; 

That  a  man  may  sell  his  freedom  to  procure  the  shin 
ing  pelf: 

And  that  Avarice,  though  it  prosper,  still  contrives  to 
cheat  itself ! 


THE    SNAKE     IN    THE    GLASS. 


A    HOMILY. 


THE  SNAKE  IN  THE   GLASS. 

A   HOMILY. 

OME  listen  awhile  to  me,  my  lad 
Come  listen  to  me  for  a  spell ; 

Let  that  terrible  drum 
For  a  moment  be  dumb, 
For  your  uncle  is  going  to  tell 

What  befell 
A  youth  who  loved  liquor  too  well. 


190  Clever  Stories 

A  clever  young  man  was  he,  my  lad  ; 
And  with  beauty  uncommonly  blest, 

Ere,  with  brandy  and  wine, 

He  began  to  decline, 
And  behaved  like  a  person  possessed  ; 

I  protest 
The  temperance  plan  is  the  best. 

One  evening  he  went  to  a  tavern,  my  lad  ; 
He  went  to  a  tavern  one  night, 

And  drinking  too  much 

Rum,  brandy,  and  such, 
The  chap  got  exceedingly  "  tight," 

And  was  quite 
What  your  aunt  would  entitle  a  "  fright." 

The  fellow  fell  into  a  snooze,  my  lad  ; 
'T  is  a  horrible  slumber  he  takes  ; 

He  trembles  with  fear, 

And  acts  very  queer  ; 
My  eyes  !  how  he  shivers  and  shakes 

When  he  wakes, 
And  raves  about  horrid  great  snakes ! 


The  Snake  in  the  Glass  191 

T  is  a  warning  to  you  and  to  me,  my  lad,  — 
A  particular  caution  to  all,  — 

Though  no  one  can  see 

The  vipers  but  he,  — 
To  hear  the  poor  lunatic  bawl : 

"  How  they  crawl !  — 
All  over  the  floor  and  the  wall ! " 

Next  morning  he  took  to  his  bed,  my  lad  ; 
Next  morning  he  took  to  his  bed  ; 

And  he  never  got  up 

To  dine  or  to  sup, 
Though  properly  physicked  and  bled  ; 

And  I  read, 
Next  day,  the  poor  fellow  was  dead  ! 

You  Ve  heard  of  the  snake  in  the  grass,  my  lad  ; 
Of  the  viper  concealed  in  the  grass  ; 

But  now,  you  must  know, 

Man's  deadliest  foe 
Is  a  snake  of  a  different  class  ; 

Alas !  - 
T  is  the  viper  that  lurks  in  the  glass  ! 


192  Clever  Stories 

A  warning  to  you  and  to  me,  my  lad  ; 
A  very  imperative  call :  — 

Of  liquor  keep  clear  ; 

Don't  drink  even  beer, 
If  you  'd  shun  all  occasion  to  fall ; 

If  at  all, 
Pray  take  it  uncommonly  small. 

And  if  you  are  partial  to  snakes,  my  lad, 

(A  passion  I  think  rather  low,) 
Don  't  enter,  to  see  'em, 
The  Devil's  Museum  !  — 

'T  is  very  much  better  to  go, 
(That's  so  !) 

And  visit  a  regular  show. 


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